Its.So.Unbelievable

Sweet Apple.

2007-02-28T00:58:00.000+08:00

Work was fine.

Surprise Surprise.

Super duperr slackness galore.

Angel is indeed an angel.

We closed the shop at 9.20pm and went back home at 10.20pm.

That has gone into the book of MANGO records.

"The earliest time to get out of MNG".

Ahh.

Not a single hothardheat enter the shop today.

Superr borring.

But thank god Dills was there to absorb my stupidness and reflect my dumb remarks.

Shes one great horny bitch. ILHER! (:

Gym tomorrow morning.

Cardio. 45 mins. Have to.

I just ate one plate of rice with squids.

Is that sinful or what.

Fuck.

Nicole Richie seems like Jupiter to me.

Am talking to Joel Lee right now.

Boy oh boy do i miss him. (:

Oh yah oh yah! I bumped into SeeHui just now!

Still looking fab gurl! I miss youu.

I cant sleep.

Im gonna wait for CSI.

If im lucky enough, ill catch it.

If not, fuckkit. Sleep my fats off.

"Just what the fuck did i put myself through? I met you and you made me feel like the luckiest girl alive. Then you left me in the dark with no warning signs and carved out my heart and placed in the desert for the vultures to savour."

Fuck you lah nabey.

Oh boy oh boy.

2007-02-26T20:01:00.000+08:00

Hello hello.
My 4 day break from hell is coming to a standing ovation end.
Fuck. Screw work. Screw you assfucking assholes who exist to make my life miserable.
Im just so sick of being fake. Ive been longing to be myself infront of people regardless whether i just met or whatever.
Ahh shut up.
On a lighter note, I had a 4e9 class reunion yesterday at Pizza Hut in Suntec City.
It was alright. Had a big bag load of fun.
It might sound tacky, but seriously i miss them. Alot.
I miss those preturbed days, bullying teachers who has hair issues and attitude problems.
Together, we recalled those silly moments, the class nerd "BENG" (wonder whatthefuykhappendtoher) and laughed, eyes making contact and then even laughed harder.
Lol. Time does fly amazingly fast. Its been 2 years since we parted and embarked on individual jouneys towards set goals. Some has graced through most education obstacles but some has yet to. (like me). Haha.
Went to gym this morning. Nicole Richie aye Afa (: LOL.
Afa made this insanely delicious macaroni soup for me! It was super. I swear. Cook more for me ah afa. Erm ok. Ignore that.
Didnt work out as hard as i intended to. Believe it or not, i was near to dozing off while cycling. LOL. I was very sleepy. All i need right now is a 12 hour sleep.
We plan to go gym again tmr morning, but somehow i have a feeling its going into smoke. Naah.

I love sappy old love songs. It makes me wanna stare blankly and cry. God, make me thin. FAST.

Screw you.

2007-02-23T05:42:00.001+08:00

Well.
It has ended. Just like that.
It was a silent killer.
It has came to a point that i loved him. Cared very much for him.
Since it was what he wanted, then he owned it.
Seriously, i cant be bothered very much either.
I dont wanna be some bonafide bitch and cry.
Its no big deal.
No big deal.
Ive a got a life to lead and other bigger problems to tend to.
Im not gonna make this incident pull me down and crash my self-confidence.
I swear it did make me realise that if i was not good enough for him, I'd never be good enough for anyone else.
But hey, not all guys are assholes. Right? Lol.
He was perfect. He cracked the best jokes, giggled at my sillyness, bought me lunch on days im fucking broke, uttered the sweetest words while im half-asleep.
Teasing was our epitome.
Id like to wish him the best for his future endeavours and that he'd always make up a piece of puzzle in me.
& like yeah i watched Sepet. Fuckkit.
I fell in love with the story line and the characters.
I reflected alot upon it and I actually cried when Orked read Jason's letter in the car otw to the airport with her mom. That part was "WOW."
It really punched me in my stomach and my tear gland was ripped apart.
Love is never easy. There are times when you'll say "Fuck love. I can survive on my own. I dont need a blady pig (guy) to be with me." But then again, that remark is superficial.
You'd always wish Mr Right will come, sweep you off your feet and fall in love with you. In my case i wanna my Mr Right to be cheena can ? (:

Stupid fucking dumbshit.

2007-02-03T18:27:00.001+08:00

OMG.

ive never felt more stupid in my life.

I feel like a fucking liar.

Im so sorry cheenaboy.

I know its your birthday and everything...but there are some reasons why i did this.

I think you deserve someone muchh muchh better than me in terms of everything.

And that call was so stupid.

I swear.

And im so sorry.

I think it'll be the end of everything.

I understand.

It's my fault and yeah.

Thanks for love and care you've showered me.

omg. i need my ciggs.

i feel shit.

why uh. right.

My new-found love.

2007-01-30T21:10:00.000+08:00

Im scared.

I wish this is a fairytale that could end up in happy ending and lasts forever.

As far as i am sane about everything, i think i like him.

I wont be so childish and say love cos i know its not.

We barely knew each other and we still have a long way to go.

Talking to him at night makes my heart beat profusely.

His presence in my mind makes me smile in my sleep.

I stumbled upon his ex's blog and oh boy oh boy.

It was pretty obvious she was deeply in love with him.

She was dedicated to him and so-called fell head over heels for him.

She called him her 'beautiful' and even made remarks on how perfect he is.

But the romance didnt last long due to some complications.

HE BROKE UP WITH HER.

Hah.

After reading her posts about the 'relationship', i felt uncomfortable.

Maybe it was better off not knowing about his past romances.

But i couldnt help it.

Well, i could understand why she loved him so.

Hes cute. Hes chinese. Hes cool. Hes simply, adorable. (:

Ergh.

Its like you cant get enough of him.

An sms from him makes me jump.

A call from him leaves me breathless for a coupla seconds.

Hes like a wish come true.

I swear.

Its the little things that makes me smile.

TAU TAKPER. ahh. (:

Hello cheena boy.

2007-01-29T11:01:00.001+08:00

Yay.

HAHA.

O boy o boy.

Im excited.

Im in love.

I think.

He's everything i wanna.

From being cheena to the sillyness of his jokes.

Fuckkit hes 1 yr younger than me.

Its hot. LOL.

Its extremely funny when he tries to talk like a malay mudd.

HAHAHA.

Hes cute lah (:

I wanna. I wanna.

Help.

Hes having his bdae bash at Zouk.

And woot2 im invited babey. (:

Topman Day.

2007-01-26T01:20:00.000+08:00

Took MC today.Im officially sick of work.Of my job.Of my life cycle.I need a fucking boost.A 32429 days holiday away from Singapore.I dont give a shit even if its gonnabe Sri Lanka.Fuck.I need to make new friends.New opinions. New thoughts.Someone who can make me think and awed.Someone who would make me laugh at his/her sillyness or retardation.Someone who would listen to me whine and tell me its okay, and that things will get better.Someone who would encourage me to be a more wholesome person and show me ways to appreciate things better.I love my mom. And my dad.But sometimes they can get under your skin.Sometimes, you wish they would just leave you alone, let you wander around independantly.
I need inspiration. Myspace.com bores me.I simply cant wait for school.Back to the norm.Back to what i should be doing.Not fucking work my ass off.Back to watching people, how they dress, how they laugh, how they eat and how books smell like.I miss making notes, i miss staying up late doin last min revison with Joel online.Boy, was that fun. (:
Im desperate to go back to poly.But to a course of my choice.Theres no more room for last min backing out.Fugg that'll cost me and plus my time will be freaking wasted.Im 19 this yr for gods sake.
Went shopping with Fareed just now.Zoom-ed to Beach Rd, then to Bugis.Ahhh.He bought shirts, jeans and a bag from Topman which cost him like 170 bucks. LOL.But hey, it was worth it ok. Freaking nice.
AHHHHHHHH. LEE KEN IS KILLING MY MIND.

Bike. Burnt.

2007-01-25T01:59:00.000+08:00

WOOOT.

Fareed finally has a bike!

Like finally.

Isnt that wonderful!

I can get free rides now!

His bike is pretty ok.

The smaller version of a Harley.

But it vibrates a lott.

A fucking damn alot.

My butt hurt everytime he speeds.

But it was worth it.

I reached home at a record-breaking time.

30 mins from town all the way to tamp. (:

Yayness.

And i freeaking burnt my leg on the way down from his bike.

I cant understand why there must be 2 exhaust pipes on each side.

Stupid design.

And it hurts a freaking a lot.

HAHA.

Me, Jo, Maine and Mich had a conference just now.

Fuck it was so freaking funny.

Complaining about our flaws and bitching about the prettyheads.

Haish.

Some girls are just born fortunate.

Rich. Smart. & Gorgeous.

Like fuckkit.

Its so blady unfair.

But whatever.

Im grateful with what i have now.

Just that i need to shed a few more kilos and ill be truly satisfied.

Lee Ken.

Its been like 4 yrs and ur still remembered.

I still have a crush on you.

I swear. HAHA.

Do that shit.

2007-01-23T00:34:00.000+08:00

Hooray.

Finally the tentalizing agony of waiting is over.

I DONT HAVE TO PAY 1500 BUCKS.

FUCK YOU SATS.

Well actually, i cant say that.

I should say FUCKING THANKS ALOT.

Esp to Helen who helped me tremendously. (:

Hokay.

I promised Fareed to blanja him New York2.

He's supposed to blanja me. But heck.

Its his birthday. Sooo yeah.

Give face ah eh.

Its gonna be February soon.

Valentines day and shit.

Owells.

Another year.

Another meaningless 14th Feb.

We had trend presentation at Vivo City this morning at freaking 9am.

CB.

My off day and i had to wake up so fucking early.

I was 'specially chosen' to be one of the freaking models.

HAHAHA.

Funny shit.

I wore this denim skirt and purple blouse for my first outfit.

Second outfit, I changed into the VIP Limited Edition flare skirt and a beige blouse.

I looked like a doll sia.

An ugly short doll, that is. LOL.

I took care of Sophia just now for 3 hours while her parents went out for a movie.

They watched 'Apocalypto' and came to a conclusion that it sucked. -_-"

Should have watched 'Pan's Labyrinth' instead. Or Blood Diamond. Hurr.

Wooo. Lee Ken is officially back in my life. In my thoughts.

Hes getting hotter and i simply cant get my eyes of him.

Why hello there, hottie. (:

HOT CHEENA.

2007-01-08T02:02:00.000+08:00

Sigh.

Nice hard medium-built body.

Pretty face.

Rockin smashin hair.

Cheena.

Chibai.

He's so hot.

Okay im rambling about some hot cheena guy i saw in store just now.

He was browsing throught the sale left-overs with the 'gf'.

Ho-kay. Enough.

Sundays are total boredom.

Especially in Ngee Ann City.

Yest was fun.

Firstly, 12pm.

Met Fareed at Aljunied for breakfast.

Prata! Nice lah siak that mamak made.

Then slacked with him till 5pm.

Met Elnah at town.

She bought Nike shoes for sch.

I totally am against kids buying super-ex shoes for fucking sch.

Anyways.

Then 8pm.

Sarrah and bf at Vivo.

Ate at Carls Jr.

Woah the burger is superrr hugee.

Nice ah. (:

Then we went for shopping!

I ended buying 3 Forever 21 tops, 1 Topshop top and a thong.

HAHA.

I love splurging on clothes.

They satisfy me more than anything else. Bahah.

Oh yah i met Afa just now.

I love u biatch.

Meeting you up for 2 hrs is enough.

Haha.

And fuck that black sex-maniac.

CHIBAI.

Hey 2007.

2007-01-02T19:32:00.000+08:00

I had a blast for new year celebrations.

Went Esplanade to catch the fireworks.

About 1.5 million people were there at Marina.

Another million were at Vivo.

The remaining million were at Sentosa.

Erm okay.

I plan to be a better person inside out in this year ahead.

My new year resolutions:

1. Lose 6kg

2. Get into MDIS and get the diploma

3. Enlarge my circle of friends

4. Be nice to my parents

5. Get myself a cutey. (:

Owells.

These are sweet nothings without actions.

Im really gonna prove myself that ive not reached my optimum

and that the best is still within me.

Thanks Dafi, u helped alot.

i love u guys lahh (:

it ends tonight.

2006-11-28T00:36:00.000+08:00

when i heard the new song from the all american rejects, i realise how lonely i am.

I just felt like hearing sad old love songs.

Whenever i see him online with his stupid silly nicks, i feel like crying.

Well, i guess i'll never know. Fuck lah.

Im so sick of waiting.

I dont know why im so attracted to him. WHY WHY WHY.

CB uh.

A OK.

Today was the slackest work day ever.

Firstly, there were a few customers.

Secondly, my manager was not in the store.

Thirdly, motherfuckers were not working. [:

Yay me.

It was soo fun.

& plus its 12.35am and im still not aslp.

So that shows tt im not tired. Hah.

I reserved like 6 clothes today and plus a belt.

WOOT2.

Imagine buying them all at half the original price.

AHHHHHHHHH.

Im gonna go nuts next month.

Shopping till i die.

I dont feel like typing anymore.

Suddenly no mood sia.

Why uh.

I need help uh.

Its been long gone.

2006-11-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

Im updating.

After a gazillion years of unsuccesful attempts.

My life has been pretty mudane.

My laptop went for some repair kindly sponsored by my dad.

The crack was well taken care off and im pretty sure another crack would mean death for me.

Ive been working my ass off to take me to my dream course.

The world 0f media and public relations.

Ahhh, finally.

No more torturing lectures about air-cons, flowers and bricks.

But hey. I fucking miss my classmates/coursemates. Aha.

They've been a fun and interesting mix. [:

& so you might ask whats up with me these days.

NOTHING.

Seriously.

Ive just been given a blow to my face.

He's attached, Emma.

They never broke off. Never did.

That one time was just a major quarrel.

Just a quarrel. Yep yep. Wtv.

Ive taken it in my stride and have moved on.

& oh yeah.

I met quite a number of wholesome guys coming in to my store.

I call them BILFS. (boyfriends id love to fuck. LOL)

They are always accompanied by cute sluts by their side. Baaah.

Its okay. They are my adrenaline pumpers.

Thanks to them i could keep my legs and hands moving till closing.

Eleven motherfucking hours man. All the way on my two feet.

My fellow collegues are great. Funny as hell, they keep me going.

Its been a month bitch. [: And im proud.

& the manager. Shes one hella super woman lah.

She even ask me to go smoke with her in the middle of work.

Just what i needed. [:

Replacing someone who's been super close to you is never easy.

You must not know about me.

& you'll never know.

Ill keep it close to my heart. [;

Irreplaceable.

CHIBAI

2006-10-17T20:49:00.000+08:00

Ive been thinking.

What sets me apart from my lil sister is the way we think and the way we carry ourselves.

Sometimes our minds collide with each other in such a way it'll leave the both of us speechless from a couple of days.

Like today.

Yesterday was a fucking chibai.

I was so pissed with her over a couple of reasons.

1st: The phone is my room got confiscated no fucking thanks to her.

2nd: She always rule my hp at night.

3rd: Whats so wrong in talking to that SOB in front of me?

IM YOUR FUCKING SISTER FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Chibai ah.

I already let you use my hp and this is how you fucking thank me.

Whats so good about that SOB anyways. Fugly faggot.

Well you made me hate him. Enough said.

KAKI KAKI KAKI KAKI KAKI.

Fuck ah.

No lifer.

Fucking meet him and then tell me what's REAL AND WHATS NOT. Stupid bitch.

Fuck you uh.

Im never letting you touch my hp ever.

I dont fucking care.

I wanna make you cry and feel anguish.

Afa where the fuck are you sia.

CBCBCBCB.

Its like as if you died or something.

I wanna go back school!

Farewell party!

HAHAHA.

& so she smiled.

2006-10-16T21:15:00.000+08:00

Love is tough.

And it sure is.

Guys are unpredictable.

One day he can be damn nice and saying all the sweet things to you.

Its like heavenly whispers and he just made u feel so loved and cared for.

And the next day, he could be cheating on you.

Would you believe a guy who's a flirt, but admits hes a fucking loyal and dedicated bf?

Well i dont.

But some girls do. For some reasons.

Im so sick of illusions and infactuations.

It feel so unreal, so distant.

Like take for example, a guy who is super tall and has a cute face and an average girl.

The girl and the guy havent met but have been talking for like 3 weeks.

And surprise, surprise they fell in love.

Is that an illusion? An infactuation?

Cos what he has in mind is apparently a picture perfect girl who has no flaws in appearance-wise and who's funny and outgoing in person.

And what she has in her mind is a fucking hot sexy boy with endless legs and a hopeless romantic.

But whats the worse that could happen when they were to really meet in real life ?

Its never gona be the same ? Unless they are both sooo deeply in love with each other that they overlook each others' flaws.

Well im not saying its never possible to work those things out, its just that its never easy.

And whats with guys falling in love so easily ? Its like as if its not love.

Cos love is never thaat easy.

It takes more than that to fall in love.

Whores.

I can never understand that.

Being in love is being able to accept each other's imperfections and accommadating to each other's needs.

Being able to be there in times of need, being able to trust each other even if separated for 9238021 miles.

Tsk.

Fareed is sucha deek.

He never changed.

BONCETNESS GALORE.

Hah.

Hes what u call a male version of a slut.

CBCBCBCB.

2006-10-14T22:02:00.000+08:00

Okay.
My eyes are super heavy now.

I slept at 6am and woke up at 12pm.

LIKE CB.

Cleaned the hse.

Went grocery shopping wit mum.

As you can see im damn tired.

I dont know if i can answer your call tonight.

I think imma go slp.

But then again i wanna hear him sing.

Not him but my sister's him.

Ok nvm.

Apparently my sis has a hottie on the tow.

Hes super tall and damn cute and plus he has good fashion taste.

He wears jeans and slippers! Woot2.

Thats hothotheatt. (:

& his voice can make u drool and cry anytime.

Ahh. Damn it.

Whereas my 'him' is a bit ermm...lets just say 'mushy'.

I really cant stand guys who are mushy.

It just makes me speechless.

And ill be like "okaaaay....okaaaay" trying to hint to stop it already.

Id rather talk to guys like they are my good friends rather than talk to them in a bf-gf kina convo tone.

Baaah ~ Some guys are just...hmm...like that ah ehh.

& plus he has a gf.

But he has been complaining about his gf being ignorant and shit and ill be like "okaaay what am i supposed to do? Hug you? Kiss you?" HAHA.

Stupid.

But hes nice and funny lah.

Haish.

I really need an english-speaking bf lah.

Someone whos not mushy and who doesnt think like a malay boy.

Help ? hahaha.

WOAH,

2006-10-12T18:19:00.000+08:00

Wah.

Hello you.

Its been nearly a mnth since i last updated.

Okay.

So so so so many things happened in the last 26 days?

Ive had like 3 jobs.

And all of them sucked.

And so i quitted all 3 of them.

HAHAHA.

Yes i know...like wtf right.

But thats me.

I think im a job-hopper.

Damn it. Thats like friggin badd.

And now im jobless.

KNNCCB.

But nvm.

Im motivated to get a stable job by November.

No more quitting. No more squabbles with the other employees. No more irresponsibilities.

Ive quitted my course in Ngee Ann.

Hah.

Im not gonna regret this ever cos i dread my stupid pathetic nonsensical course.

But im sure im gonna miss my classmates and coursemates.

Damnn.

): Its gonna be quite sad.

My peeps; Lester, Wen Dong, Joel, Justin, Hazmi...etc etc and the sluts and bitches.

HAHA.

Me and afa are closer to the opp sex cos the girls are super annoying. Ok nvm.

Next up is MDIS.

Im planning to enrol in Mass Comm.

Its gonna cost me like $6000+ but im sure its gonna be worth it.

Mass Comm is my future and im gonna work my ass off to succeed in the course.

(: Wish me luck people.

Its the fasting mnth now.

And my stomach is growling.

25 more mins.

C'mon emma.

Stop thinking of food.

p.s Ahh thank god we are alright, Fareed. (:

Am really glad.

Miss you lah DEEKHEAD.

You dont have to be perfect.

2006-09-14T18:42:00.000+08:00

You dont have to be perfect to be loved.

You dont have to pretend to be cool, to be well-liked by many.

To be respected, to be a good friend.

All you have to do is be yourself.

If you seem to cant be yourself infront of those whom you call your friends, then step back and think.

Are they really your friends? Will they still talk and insist you hang out with them if you were to be yourself? Will they smile and say hi to you in the middle of town if you were to be yourself?

If the answer to all that is a big fat fucking NO, then you are in a 'fucked' situation.

In the society today, take a good look around you.

Everyone is beating their ass up to fit in.

"Heyy you gotta cut your hair short and dont you forget the long fringe. And ooh dont you EVEN dare forget that black black black thiccck eyeliner on the eyelids." Bleargh.

You might find yourself caught in the vicious cycle. Well, i did.

And lemme tell you, im not proud of it.

So where do these people find originality?

In their so-called art. HAHA. Photography. Music.

They will try to find the most most underground bands and listen to their music.

Then they'll show the bands off.

The more unknown, the better.

I think they set themselves apart from the rest by listening to 'underground music'.

Mainstream is the nonok now.

Anybody listening to mainstream is called a poseur. Hah.

Everyone seems to be into photography.

Its like the new drug.

Some people even go the extend of having so-called photoshoots. HAH.

If you are good at it, you are worshipped, awed in envy and labelled COOL.

Everyone would want to be your friend and soak up in your coolness.

Whatever.

Who is to blame for causing all these? Dont know.

Its like the theory for chicken and the egg.

& drinking.

Drinking is a must if you wanna fit in.

Religion is not a question nowadays.

Its like it doesnt exist anymore.

They dont even bring up the word God in their daily lives.

"Jom minom ah this Friday. Meet pat Esplanade."

How much more cliched can it get.

It sounds so easy and happy.

Hah. For now that is.

Before you love somebody else, love yourself first.

Stay true to yourself and dont get carried away.

Its sad where the society is diverting now.

Think before you act.

& i heard from someone about this.

Its fucking pathetic.

This group of people who calls themselves 'cool hadcore punk emo'.

They talk to you on myspace and MSN and be all nice and friendly.

But if you're not pretty, unpopular, dress like shit, hair like shit, eyeliner not thick enough,

you say hi to them outside, they'll simply give a smirk and walk off.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Like who the hell do u think you are?

You think you some big fuck ah?

KANINACHIBAI. Butoh lah.

Fuck ah all these people.

They should be killed.

Brutally.

Hair Issue.

2006-09-10T15:34:00.000+08:00

Ive been tossing and playing with my hair.

Straightening it.

Tying it.

Clipping it.

Seems like nothing worked.

I hate my current hair lah.

I seriously seriously need a haircut.

I cant emphasize seriously so much more.

Its thaat bad.

My stupid thin curly hair.

Bleargh.

I got 20 bucks from my mom.

Im hoping for another like 80 bucks from my dad.

I have no fucking idea when hes gonna finally gimme the money.

& so fasting mnth is just around the corner.

The month where a sip of water would be a sin and a bite of bread would be hell.

I dont think it'd be that hard since im gonna work.

Ok maybe it is gonna be hard. Hah.

Okay i dont know.

But i was thinking like u get ur mind off the whole fasting thing, u'd get past everyday with ease.

(: Yeah. Hokaay.

I went to some wedding just now.

Like just opposite my block.

The decor was okay lah.

White satin all over the ceiling, white lilys embedded onto the pelamin and leaves to tip it off.

I love the theme. Simple and classy. (:

& the berkat is a box chocolate. Not badd.

But the food is a bit bleargh.

The meat was so lean and the servings were small. It was not buffet, u see.

Okay whatever.

Its raining now. And my eyes are heavy.

Afa is at Geylang now, her body up for sale.

I think she got quite a few 'sale transactions' yest. (:

Making quite a sum that girl. Damnnn. LOL.

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley is the current love on my iTunes. (:

& oh oh i watched lucky number slevin already.

Fast moving and intriguing movie uh.

&& did i mention Josh Hartnett was uber sexy in the movie?

Guess not.

Hah. He is. Uber sexy. He is. The sex. ((:

*drools an Amazon River.

Hukkaay ignore that. S:

Suck balls.

2006-09-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

Its not easy to be me.
The feelings in my head right now is raw, disturbed.
I talked to my bestie the lovely and gorgeous and the cutest, Irah Shyral.
I dont know where the hell she got that Shyral from, but hey it suits her. (:
I poured out all my feelings and damn do i feel so much better !
She really understood my situation pretty well which is a relief to me.
And her advice ?
Oh the golden words of wisdom. Shes damn good at giving advice ah.
You have a problem? Call her. Heres her number : 9******* Hah. As if.
I miss her lah.
Shes sucha sweet, patient, down-to-earth and sincere girl. Anyone who's gonna own her in the future is one lucky dickhead. (: I mean it. Heh.

& so yest's idols result show was a bit devastating.
Im still grieving on Paul's departure from the show.
He totally din deserve it.
The judges are a bunch of bitches. They totally screwed it all up by choosing gay songs for dear Paul. Fuckkew.
Ken should totally be shot in the head and leave his carcass for the vultures to savour.
Hes one evil man.
Its okay. Paul's great shrine shall live on.
It was indeed a beautiful disaster.
Hes a great singer, entertainer and person. (:
So yeah, i hope he'll last in the industry.

Turbulent.

2006-09-03T22:36:00.000+08:00

Slept at 4am yest. My dad came home at 3am.

I had to restrain from my comp and run to my room.

Literally.

I had a dash of my life.

Yes. Im not supposed to be on the comp at such late hours thanks to the increase in the electricity bills.

Bleargh. Thats gonna suck a lot cos im on holz for the mnth.

Nothing much happened today.

I watched tv for like practically the whole day.

I watched 3 movies on HBO. Somehow ill never get sick and tired of White Chicks lah.

Its brilliant. (:

Kapoww!

My dad has initiated to give me money to straighten my hair!

WOOT2.

Im gonna cut and yeah straighten my hair !

Im browsing thru online hair catalogs now to check out the 'in' hairstyles.

Nicole Ritchie's short hair draws me.

Its super super nice and sleek and feminine and and posh.

I LIKE !!

If only i can streak my hair. Damn. Blonde2 ah sikit.

Ok nevermind tt.

Im addicted to Liar(It takes two) by Taking Back Sunday.

The beats are super !

Eat Shit.

2006-09-03T02:45:00.000+08:00

Life is full of shit.

Eat the shit.

Or spit it back out.

& so i had kenduri just now.

All my little cuzz came.

My beloved aunts and uncles. (:

& im glad to see my cuzz back from Russia !

OMGZZ CAN?

His 2 lovely daughters are so gorgeous clad in their Guess apparel.

The wife?

What can i say...forever jambu siak. CB.

Shes the former Miss Kebayer (i think so uh)... so yeah. Explained.

We were playing and stuffs...

In my bedroom unfortunately.

They were jumping all over the place, yes my bed included. SHIT CAN ?

And salivating all over me.

Awww...my baby Hilman is growing handsomer2 everyday lah.

Hes soo puteh and his cheeks are so plushed ! (:

I carried and spinned him arnd till he puked. AHHAHA.

I guess he got way too dizzy and i din know he'd puke.

After tt i din carry him anymore cos he stink. HAHAHA.

No laah. Hes still love.

Goshh Yasmine told me this joke about their Uncle farting and it made me laugh like maddd.

Then i had a memory dash.

Gosshhh how i miss him siakkk. CBCBBCCBCB.

How i wish we are still like erm...

Nvm. I know it could never happen.

Its like beyond possible. Beyond the outer limits.
I can still clearly remember that day i got slapped. FUCKKEW.
The day i thought i could never fall in love again.

The day i thought my family dont give a damn about me.

The day i thought it was all over. OVER.

I looked into his eyes.

It was full of angst, revenge and pain.

I couldnt stop crying myself.

My heart felt like a thousand needles searing into it.

I held his hands. It was cold. He held back.

He looked away. He whispered something. And he stood and walked off.

From us. From me. From everything.

Wow. I din ever wanna recall that day.

I thought he was perfect.

He was everything i ever dreamt of.

Its like hello ~

We met when i was in pri 5. (:

HAHAHA.

Okay. Thosee memories. Fucking funny.

We had like Sunday family gatherings.

And tt time my cuzz brought his fiancee to one of the bowling outings.

And he was soo sesat can ? He was like there.

And im like who the hell are u?

He was freaking hot lah.

Eh im like 11 yrs old uh but still ive got taste uh ehh. LOL.

Yah yah bla bla. (: It was fun lah.

Sometimes i wish some miracle could happen and he'd come back to me.

Seeing him during Hari Rayas is like looking at a scar from the past.

I seriously miss him lah.

Hes something from the past that im still holding on to and can never let go.

Fucckit.

Pics will come in the next entry uh. Mls dinda.

Back at One.

2006-08-31T17:12:00.000+08:00

Life is harsh.

The truth hurts.

Well.

Im someone who accepts the truth and will work on it.

Thats how life should be.

Cant get him? Not happy? Dont know what to do about it?

Fucking move on.

Its not as if its the end of the world.

I always tell myself god has planned something bigger in the future.

Be patient and live life to the fullest.

No point dwelling on it, thinking what it could have been.

I cry alot, to myself.

Yes, sometimes i cant help it.

Its just to overwhelming.

Mixed feelings of depression, sadness and frustration.

Like what sets me apart from all the other girls ?

Its shit. Im shit. Fucking stupid. Ok thats crap. Baaah.

My mind is not in its normal condition.

So many things happened lately.

And i could barely breathe.

Theres like no reason why i should be happy now.

Its like too many shit is goin on.

Somehow im so grateful to have Afa as my bestie.

She helps me alot to cope with all those shit.

BFF<3>

Afa is sucha beatiful person.

Inside out.

No wonder guys are drooling over her.

She has a kick-ass sense of humour,

a smile that can makes u go "fuck you stop smiling",

eyes that wonders a thousand feelings,

a voice thats like a bapok which is as rare as a yakodagoda gem. (:

HAHAHA.

Owells, to me shes perfect.

& i hope he'll make u feel happy and happy. LOL.

May u guys last till the end of the world. (:

Its unbelievable.

I dont know exactly what im feeling right now.

Its like i dont give a damn.

But then the next min, ill get all sad and shit.

Maybe i should stop playing the sappy songs.

But Im seriously moving on.

Believe it or not.

My tune of death right now.

Back at one - Brian McKnight

The lyircs are omgzz.

I can go nuts.

I want the guy of my dreams to sing tt for me. (:

Ill die and pee on my chair.

Whenever i believe my work is done,

Ill start all over again and yeah.

Soon bitches.

OVER.

2006-08-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

& so me and afa went to town.

We practically walked all the way from Bugis to Wheelock.

Bleargh.

It was fun tho. (:

It took us about 2 hrs ayee to cruise through half of Singapore.

We met Naddie and Ahmad at Far East.

Sucha cute couple.

Haha.

We went window shopping, dreaming what we would buy if we have the 1000bucks in our hands. WOOOT.

Im gonna buy clothes from Topshop, Zara and Energyy. (:

I fell in love with the shirts from this particular shop in Far East.

And its like 20 bucks per shirt.

Damn cool can ? (:

Im soo gonna get like 5 of them.

And im gonna buy shorts and big2 shirts and dresses.

Wahuahua !

& talking about this Fri.

Id rather spend the day with my schoolmates than to drag myself to Esp.

Hes not gonna be there so why bother?

Im gonna tell myself to forget him.

Theres other fishes in the sea.

Funnier and cuter.

But fuckkit lah.

Whenever i see him, the feelings surely will come crawling back to me.

My heart will sink like Titanic, slowly submerging into the depth of the ocean.

Especially when i see them together.

I feel like tearing her bra and hanging it on the lampost at Esp. HAHAHA.

Whatever lah.

Dont care. Ok fine. Maybe i do. A bit uh. Baaah.

Its ok. Emma strong. (:

Afa is starting work soon.

So...im gonna be quite a loner these days.

Im gonna have to rot at home like a lifeless idiot.

I just hope its okay for her to go Esp on Fridays. (:

Listening to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol makes me weep. ):

The chorus touches me like a thousand needles piercing through my heart.

L.O.V.E

2006-08-28T19:29:00.000+08:00

Im sitting here in my god damn blue chair, thinking.

What is it like to fall in love when ur 18.

Cos ur so matured, and u expect alot to come out from the relationship.

You've been through quite a lot so u pretty know how to deal with shit pretty easily.

And you'd have friends to depend on when ur down.

Well thats just part and parcel of a relationship.

First, you'll feel as if you're on top of the world.

You own him. And hes yours. Truly and deeply.

You're anxious waiting for his call/sms and you'll feel safe talking to him.

Little things like what he's eaten and done smittens you.

Whenever he sweet talks with you, you cant help it but to smile.

You'll soak up in each other's awesomeness, never realising its like 4am already.

You din want the call to end, you wanna just keep hearing his voice till you sleep.

Bleargh.

Now, im just focused on the money im gonna get.

Make full use of it. (: && spend it wisely.

You're Purrfect. (:

2006-08-27T21:17:00.000+08:00

Everything has been in my way lately.

Which is weird.

Im laughing it off.

Well, i dont wannt raise my hopes high.

Just in case it fails again.

& so he broke up with her after like 4 days ?

I dont really know what exactly is the reason for the break-up.

Im sure it has something to do with thaat girl.

But whatever lah. Dont care.

I went to some wedding yesterday.

My maternal side's tho.

& there was this one nenek who kept huggin me, pinching me, wanting to talk to me.

& im like ha-ha-ha, i was totally caught in the moment, i din know how to react !

Then i found out she thought i was my mom.

HAHAHAAH. SHEESH.

My mom din come cos she was tired. -_-

So everyone there was like "EH EH, deknie muker copyright mak dierr !!"

Ok enough.

Ok now i know my face is super damn like my mom.

I went Courts to buy new earpiece.

Quite cheap uh.

Philips. White colour sommore.

Woot2. Finally. (:

HAHA CHELSEA. mtf.

2006-08-24T23:36:00.001+08:00

Chelsea lost?

Am i hearing this right ?

FUCKTARDSSSS !!

IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE MORINHO.

I hate Chelsea.

For obvious reasons.

Proud son of bitches.

FUCCKEWWW.

On a happier note, my darlinks at Man Utd won their match !

WOohoo!

Im so happy for them. (:

Keep it up lads !

You stand a good chance of winning the Premiership if u guys keep playing like this !

Hokay.

Law was shit.

I freaking swear.

But thank god i was in the same class as Mardy. (:

I cant believe i was smiling throughout the paper.

I was thinking "Okaay what the hell is the case law !!" while watching my white boy.

LOL. I might be stressed but LOL i was smiling lah.

Hes too cute can ?

I think hes getting whiter. but siak uh he never get dark in the first place. baaah ~

Crap. Enough.

Tmr is my Econs Paper.

And im screwed big time. ):

Im feeling very droozy right now.

I slept for just like 4 hrs for the past like 30 hours ?

Im so tired physically and mentally.

Law really squeezed my brain, jamming every bit of my memory.

I think im not quite sane now. -_-

Whatever.

At least tmr, theres something to look forward to after the test !

Woot2!

Ahh yes, Nurul got voted out from Singapore Idols.

Bagos uh.

im not a fan of hers anyways.

Thank god it wasnt Paul.
I was so scared can ?

Well, i voted 5 times for Paul.

Cos i know my mom voted 10 times for Hady and another 10 for Jon. (:

HAHA CHELSEA. mtf.

2006-08-24T23:36:00.000+08:00

Chelsea lost?

Am i hearing this right ?

FUCKTARDSSSS !!

IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE MORINHO.

I hate Chelsea.

For obvious reasons.

Proud son of bitches.

FUCCKEWWW.

On a happier note, my darlinks at Man Utd won their match !

WOohoo!

Im so happy for them. (:

Keep it up lads !

You stand a good chance of winning the Premiership if u guys keep playing like this !

Hokay.

Law was shit.

I freaking swear.

But thank god i was in the same class as Mardy. (:

I cant believe i was smiling throughout the paper.

I was thinking "Okaay what the hell is the case law !!" while watching my white boy.

LOL. I might be stressed but LOL i was smiling lah.

Hes too cute can ?

I think hes getting whiter. but siak uh he never get dark in the first place. baaah ~

Crap. Enough.

Tmr is my Econs Paper.

And im screwed big time. ):

Im feeling very droozy right now.

I slept for just like 4 hrs for the past like 30 hours ?

Im so tired physically and mentally.

Law really squeezed my brain, jamming every bit of my memory.

I think im not quite sane now. -_-

Whatever.

At least tmr, theres something to look forward to after the test !

Woot2!

Ahh yes, Nurul got voted out from Singapore Idols.

Bagos uh.

im not a fan of hers anyways.

Thank god it wasnt Paul.
I was so scared can ?

Well, i voted 5 times for Paul.

Cos i know my mom voted 10 times for Hady and another 10 for Jon. (:

The Adventure

2006-08-22T17:13:00.000+08:00

The curtain has been swaying in the breeze.

& ive been looking at it for hours.

Ive been sitting on this pathetic black chair for like 7 hours?

Yeah. Call me a no-lifer. Fuck.

Afa has tuition at like 5pm.

Blah.

I slept pretty early yest.

Like 9pm?

Well that is to make up for the sleepless night i had before.

No thanks to PYM.

Screw you lah PYM.

Im gonna burn your book. Aha.

But wait. No. I might repeat you. Stupidfaggot.

Fuckkew.

AHAHA.

I watched on youtube this Yucko the Clown.

OMGOMGOMG.

Its super super funny i tell you !

Its rude but who cares. (:

Yucko the Clown : "How are u coping with Ronald Reagan's death?"

Some random dude : "Oh hes a great president. Im gonna miss him"

Yucko the Clown : "Why dont u dig him up and suck his dick already? "

HAHAHAHAHAHAH ! Yucko is the biggest bitch ever. I swear.

Ive been having problems with myself lately.

Ive recovered something.

Something that is related to an incident that happened to me some time ago.

Never mind that.

Oprah does help me alot.

Her shows has taught me lessons my mom wont even talk about.

I watched her show just now.

About self-abuse. Creepy but yeah its pretty saddening.

50% of self-abusers are victims of rape. ):

I remembered once my sis slashed her arm cos she was so mad with my dad.

Thank god things din get worse.

I find myself attracted to you.

Not physically but characteristically. (if theres sucha word! LOL)

Gees. Thats weird. Baah.

I wish i was special.

I don't care if it hurts,

I wanna have control,

I want a perfect body,

I want a perfect soul.

Plush-ed.

2006-08-20T16:33:00.000+08:00

I find myself clicking youtube.com whenever im bored.

Like for instance, okay.

Noone's cool online.

Ive been listening to same song for like 930223 times.

Myspace-ing is like so gay.

Im sick of it.

Fake. Faux. Stupid. Gay.

K nvm.

I plan.

But it seldom happens.

My mom is watching some hindustan show outside.

My sister is eating.

Im stoning.

Ive been thinking.

What if all of us still have a stone-age mindset?

Like we dont wear any clothes when we go out.

And guys wont be too horny.

Cos they'll be so used to seeing boobs flying around them.

LOL.

Ok random thought.

I kinda prefer guys who talk straight.

I hate guys who goes around the bush with that malay maing accent.

FUCK. U gimme goose bumbs u KONEKCHIWAS.

Like once they started saying "uuuu" ill be like OKAY THATS IT. BYE. or BRB.

Then ill block. HAHA.

Shit lah.

Like you dont even know me and you wanna manje2.

EEEE.

Bladie shitheads.

Get a life. >.<

Monday is tmr.

And that means my first paper is tmr.

Screw it.

I havent started studying for nuts.

Ive just like read through my notes but FUCK.

Damn.
Wish me luck pple.

I'll need it. Badly. ):

Im sleepy.

Weekends suck lah.

Cant wait for it to end.

Esp Sundays.

Bleargh.

Bye people. Im off to the playground. (:

Its a sacrifice.

2006-08-19T18:45:00.000+08:00

& so i jogged just now.

Just felt like exercising.

The sudden burst of adrenaline sprung my legs to action.

I looked at the clock.

5am.

Okay. Perfect.

i quickly changed to my shorts and my Germany world cup jersey. (:

& i fled.

I woke up at 2pm to the annoying sound of the vacuum cleaner.

Damn my dad.

He wont give me a chance to wake up on my own.

Its a Saturday for gods sake. -_- ergh.

Never mind that.

Whenever I liked a guy, I'll put my heart and soul to be a better person to suit his needs and criteria. Like i know, stupid right. But thats me. I cant be myself in front of him, no matter how badly i'd end up being someone Im not. More or less i ended up not talking at all. Which sucks big balls. ): There you go. Thats where my biggest weakness lies. Im the least confident when it comes to my appearance. Ergh. I need some confidence boost. Pls someone. And yeah. But that doesnt stop me from liking major hotness guys. LOL. Yeah weird. Whatever. I think im having PMS. My mood swings from extreme happiness to the other extreme of fuckness. I hit the ground like a pig when i heard that that guy only likes pretty scene girls. And then my mood was like acidic. Id rather not talk if im having mood swings, you know...Fuck all those stupid 16 yr olds whos trying to write good english on their "about me". Like it totally disgust me. Like they tried to use some bombastic word to put up an impression that their command of english is good. So they are supposed to be taken seriously and are supposedly 'intellectual'. Eee pls lah. Especially when their faces are irritating and oh-so-malai. These kinda girls should have their pussys mowed. LOL. (: Extreme gay-ness. Somehow i think that these girls are just out there to attract attention and be the creme of the crop. Like oh-look-at-me-im-cute-and-im-scene. Im petite and i dress up with the latest faded jeans (torn) and the fanciful flowery button shirt. And not forgetting my fucking straight short hair. Cute kann. EEEE. CBCBCBCB. Eh luper lah. Eyeliner. No.1 in Japan and Korea. LOLOL. Shut up u kaninas. And then, they'll run around and dance around and flirt around with guys twice their age. Can i please kill them off one by one? Let me. They need to perish from the face of the earth. But somehow the guys love them. Thats the other annoying part. Guys love to be in the center of attraction for these girls. Like when they finally get to talk to them and be friends with them, its like omg-they-like-me! WOOHOO! Get a life lah. Stupid boys mixing with stupid girls. Sajak lah tu. I dont know how long this trend is gonna last. Im sure its gonna die off one day. One fine fine day. Haha. Wonder what trend is in store for all of us next. i just hope its no gayfargk.

Singaporeans music-retards !

2006-08-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

EH CHIBAI FACE SINGAPOREANS.

ARE YOU GUYS TONE-DEAF?

ARE YOU GUYS MUSIC RETARDS?

FUCK YOU STUPID MORONIC GIRLS WITH VIBRATING PUSSIES.

"JOAKIM! OMG HE CANT SING BUT SO WHAT? WE STILL

LIKE HIM COS HES SO ADORABLE!!"

OH FUCK YOU.

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE LAH CHIBAI FACES.

FUCK DID YOU HEAR HOW HORRENDOUS HE SOUND?

AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE ITS A MOTHERFUCKING SINGING CONTEST NOT A BEAUTY PAGEANT/POPULARITY CONTEST.

OMG LAH.

ITS SAD PEOPLE LIKE YOU STUPID BITCHES EXIST IN SINGAPORE.

ALL THE TALENTS IN THE SHOW GO WASTED THANKS TO MORONS LIKE YOU.

ALL THOSE CHEENA BITCHES/MALAY MINAHS.

DESPERATE.

WHAT DO YOU GET WASTING 60 CENTS VOTING FOR THAT MORON??

DO U GET A KISS? DO U GET MONEY BACK OR SOMETHING?

IS JOAKIM BLACKMAILING YOU GUYS?

DO YOU GET SEX WITH JOAKIM BY VOTING FOR HIM?

AFTER THE IDOLS MEET-GREET, ORGY OR SOMETHING? LOL.

IM DAMN PISSED. ITS STUPID.

THE SHOW IS GETTING FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

Bitch please.

2006-08-17T00:40:00.000+08:00

Im so tired of chasing cars.

Chasing you.

Chasing dreams that'd never happen.

So fuck all of you.

Fuck me.

End.

What the fuck ah.

Chibai.

A thing I'd never be.

So why dream of being it?

Dear whoever;

2006-08-13T13:24:00.000+08:00

Ill wait.

For how long it'll possibly take me.

Sometimes i feel weird. And stupid.

Whenever i step into the lecture thearter, my eyes will start to roam.

Scanning through every row, starting from the top,

searching for a curly haired head.

When I finally get to spot him,

my heart will jump.

I will smile, without even realising it.

Thats the routine before-the-start- of every lecture.

But lets just say, hes not there.

ILL DIE. ILL CRY. && ILL WAIT.

Wait for the sound of creaking.

Which means someone opened the theartre's door. ((:

My face will gleam, and ill be secretly praying its him.

LOL.

Its gonna be a week till i see him again.

& that also means my exams are super near.

Gees.

But honestly, ive been studying more than i did for my previous exams.

I hope ill pass every single module.

Bless me. (:

I just dyed my hair.

LOL.

My mom bought the Revlon thing.

So i asked her if i could have some.

& she said i could!

Yayness. (:

My hair is browner, i should say.

Its been a million years since i last dyed.

Actually black hair is not so bad lah.

Very emo-ish. Which is good.

Im listening to Linger by The Cranberries.

Pretty song. (:

Im gonna start my revision soon, so yeah.

Gotta get your head in the game. (excerpt from the soundtrack of High Sch Musical)

Do you have to let it linger?

Im sucha fool for you.

You got me wrapped around your fingers.

Its true.

I dont think this feeling is gonna get me anywhere.

But heck.

Its worth the while.

Would you like that?

2006-08-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

Im having a fucking terrible headache.

Prolly cos of the 1hr 17 mins bus journey.

& the double dose of coffee today.

Damn it.

My eyes are hurting right now.

My heart is too.

Owells, everything hurts at this minute.

My mind is tired.

I cant think nor feel anything right now.

I feel numb.

But. I feel fat. Lol.

Starbucks makes people FEEL F.A.T.

Serious ah.

I had grande size of hot mocha just now.

On top of that, a shredded chicken mee wanton. ):

Oh yeah not forgetting Ya Kun toast and half-boiled eggs.

Oh gosh.

Gym is calling me. FUCK AH.

Tmr gym ah Fa.

Stop complaining already.

Oh.

Stopped by L.P just now.

Afa and me shopped a lil.

I bought 2 shirts.

Afa bought this ridiculously HOT black shirt and 3/4 shorts.

HOTHOTHOT. I swear sia.

Dude. Thats bad man.

I might turn lesbian any second now.

Hahaha. (:

I din spoke a word to my mom just now.

Is it normal?

But theres no hard feelings nor any fights between us tho.

Its just that i dont know what to say.

Haiz.

I need some how-to-communicate-with-your-mom sessions man.

Seriously.

I think the communication breakdown between me and my mom is getting pretty obvious.

I dont want it to happen but you know...sometimes it just happen beyond your control.

Damn it.

My dad?

Forget it.

Me and my dad is near gone-case.

Haha.

He's pretty much in his own world.

Noone can ever understand his mood swings.

One minute he can be super nice (which is weird) and the next minute, he'd be roaring like the merlion.( dont ask me why merlion)

Bus rides can be near puking when a fucking stinky guy sits next to you and some fucker turns on some indian song on his MP3 beyond loudness.

Help me.

On repeat on my Itunes : Dont look back in anger - Oasis ((:

&& oh lets get back to PYM shall we?

Diary of Mardy.

2006-08-09T21:45:00.000+08:00

Something's getting in the way

Something's just about to break

I will try to find my place in the diary of ~~Jane~~Mardy.

So tell me how it should be.

Happy National Day my wonderful fellow citizens. ((:

Went to see the fireworks yest.

The fireworks were awesomeee.

But what happened after tt was FUCKED UP.

like omgzz.

All those makciks and nyonyas like never see fireworks before sia.

KNNCCB.

I think 93480293 people turned up lah.

Just to see 15 mins of flames bursting in the sky.

Human traffic jams were everywhere.

Oh yeah.

I went to gym!

Hell yeah.

Im motivated.

Yes i am.

To be who i want to be.

Yeah whatever.

I totally got no mood.

Prolly cos tmr's BIT test.

Im totally screwed.

I need to pass this shit.

Or else theres a huge risk I might repeat that motherfucking module.

& hell NO im gonna repeat it.

Id rather pierce my belly with a dagger than to sit in with that cunt-faced teacher.

God, save me. Bless me.

Im addicted to Breaking Benjamin's Diary of Jane. (:

Sweet song.

I dreamt of you.

Cos i think i miss you soo much.

Your laughter, jokes and bedtime stories.

& oh ur dishes.

*wipes tears*

Its been nearly a year since you are gone.

& it still feels unreal to me.

Sometimes i wish you are still in your home,

in your cold room,

watching your favourite dramas,

wearing your pretty butterfly pyjamas,

roaming about with ur roller chair.

Your smile and jokes always brighten up my day.

I miss you so.

Did i mention i secretly wished you happy bdae?

I would have kept my promise of blanja-ing you if you are still here.

But its okay.

I hope you are safe and happy wherever you are right now.

I love you.

& you are always remembered.

Every single day. Every single second.

To forget you. Not.

2006-08-05T21:51:00.000+08:00

Bleargh.

Saturday is coming to an end.

Ive slept practically the whole day.

Well, im supposed to study SBR but the mood is not right. Yet.

I need to get back to 'studying mode' mans. Fast.

Ive just finished watching the re-run of Spore Idols.

Im really utterly disgusted at the way Sporeans are voting.

What the fuck are you stupid senseless deaf bunch of morons thinking when you are voting for Jasmine and Joakim?!?!

Its so obvious they cant sing for nuts.

Its sad.

The great singers I have to say are Hady, Mathilda, Rahimah and Jon. (:

Like omgz. Hady and Jon were among the bottom 3.

Haish.

I was just shaking my head, cursing at Jasmine the whole time.

Chibai-face.

She has this IRRITATING-CUTENESS air around her.

I hate her smile, her hair and her stupid voice.

Lets see what happens next.

Number of times at bottom 3:

Hady- 1

Jon- 2(!!)

Mathilda- 1

Singapore Idols is becoming stupidier and stupidier each week.
Except for some tho.

I cant imagine Hady or Jon getting voted off lah.

Seriously.

That'll be the end of Spore Idols i tell you.

Im currently listening to Tired of saying sorry by Ringside.

Its damn nice. (:

I dont think you know what im thinking or feeling.

Im facing a situation where its hard to tell you the truth cos you are the type of a person who cant accept criticisms. & im sorry.

So whatever.

Keep doing what you think its right. Tho... :

Hang in there.

2006-08-04T21:00:00.000+08:00

Oh god.

I feel depressed.

I feel empty.

Its like my whole world is black and white right now.

Like literally right now.

I miss the feeling of having to love someone, feeling close, feeling you actually belonged.

Sometimes i wish im that girl, standing at the bus-stop, with endless legs, wearing the white blouse, beige shorts and black silettos. & not forgetting the green tote bag.

Her long black silky hair sways at the slightest breeze.

Her perfect complexion shines under the sunlight, attracting even the red ants on the trees.

All the guys be it Malay, Chinese or Indian, all anxious to know who she is.

She sounds perfect huh?

Thats my dream. I mean it.

Yes. I admit.

It'd take a long time for me.

But when there's a will, there's a way. (:

Ahh fuck it. Im sick to my stomach whenever I see a girl that matches all those. =

Well, noones perfect.

Ho-kay.

Lets get back in touch with reality shall we?

I went to Idol formal meet&greet on Monday 31/07 at Hangout at Mt Emily.

It was fun. Got to take loads of pics. ((:

There were quite a lot of people. All hardcore die-hard fans.

But not me ohkay. Haha.

I miss those days.

When will i ever get to revive those days?

Lets just wait & see.

Food for thought.

Am i choosy?

Maybe i am.

I know like who am i to be choosy right?

Like im some Miss World or something.

But thats just me.

My nature.

That explains why ive been single for so long.

Till my Mr Right comes along, i shall be single. (:

Im not some desperate shit who'll just go with some disgusting-looking mudd.

Sorry.

Ive had like a gazillion crushes.

None worked out.

Maybe not just as yet.

My self-confidence is not ready to be potrayed.

Till that day arrives, i shall be patient and continue working it out.

Happy 18th to MUAH. (:

2006-07-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

& so i turned EIGHTEEN today.
Heh. ((:
*grin wide wide ahhh*
Im legal people.
Who wanna have sex with me?
Who wants me to buy for them ciggie/alcohol?
Who wants to go clubbing with me?
Chey cheyy.
Feeling2 eighteen ah jab. =
Ive got 2 days of celebration ahh.
Break record.

Saturday 290706

Family babeyy. (:
I love them. Loads.
Everyone was there.
Even my long lost cousin by the name of Ramli.
I swear he looks like daddeh. Which is not baad. LOL.
He's divorced with a kid.
& his kid is fucken cute. Seriously. Gosssh.
Its official lah.
I have the most gorgeous and cutest nieces and nephews in the world.
Loveeee theeeem. (tho some are behave and think like wild animals. saddening.)
But what the heck. Still love em. <3 Cheerios to Hilmi, Hilda, Natasya, Ulfa, Hilman, Amirul, Rosli and Aisyah.

I love the choc fudge cake. Yummylycious. *licks lips*

Ulfa, Hilmi and Amirul at the gate. LOL.

Just plain love. <3

Sunday 300706 (My bdae ya'll)

Was supposed to go for OBS check-up with Lester and Wen Dong.
Met em at Novena. Then straight to Tan Tock Seng.
Upon reaching there, we found out the check up will set us back by 35 bucks.
Im like HELL NO. Id rather wait at a polyclinic and pay only 20 bucks.
Yes i know. Im cheapskate. But who cares. =So we decided to go somewhere else.
Somewhere in THEIR HOMETOWN. Jurong. Ergh.
Lucky got transport. (:

Wen Dong drove us there lahh. His mega mighty Lorry. Lol.
I sat infront with Dong2 while the 2 monkeys sat at the back. Haha!

After that, me Lester and Afa headed to town. ((:
&& we met up with Sazz.
&&& we all played pool happily ever after.
It was funn.
I din know im quite good at pool. Heh.
Runs in the family i guess cos my daddeh is super awesome at pool. Pro ah siak.
Owells. Afa sucks. But improving. (: LOOL.
I so love all of you.

LOVELOVELOVE. too bad dong2 din come. ):

Blue and Yellow.

2006-07-29T13:11:00.000+08:00

Well ur never gonna find if you're looking for it.

Should have done something but ive done enough.

Should have said something but ive said it enough.

Its all up to you.

And only you.

Shitass.

When the time is up, Ill move on.

But for now, my world revolves around you.

& so i ran this morning.

Before that, i drew "mardy" and a star on my wrist.

Just to keep me goin. (:

&& i managed to complete the 2.4km under 20 mins.

Yay me. Yay my legs. Yay my boobs. Ho-kaaay.

Im proud of myself. I have to admit.

From now on, i shall drink pepsi before i do anything vigorous.

OMGZ LAH.

Pepsi gets my adrenaline flowing like a moonsoon drain during a tsunami. Err.

Seriously ah.

I couldnt sleep.

I was dancing all the way lah.

Lucky got some owls like me on my msn.

Can entertain me also. (:

Then at 5.45, i went out.

Seeking an adventure below the red sky and through the breeze.

Ok maybe not.

My mind was set.

I was determined.

My legs were thrilled.

My heart was excited.

& so i set off on my journey.

Running like an asshole.

My Mp3 was set at "A Box Full of Sharp Objects" by The Used.

OMGZ. That song really pushed me.

The beats and the words.

Perfect. I love The Used.

"Today I fell and felt better Just knowing this matters I just feel stronger and SHARPER!!! Found a box of sharp objects What a beautiful....thing! It's our time to shine through the down glorified by what is ours e've fallen in love We've fallen in love It was the best idea Ive ever had"

(part of the lyrics)

Im off to my aunt's house later.

Celebrating my bdae as well as my other 2 aunts.

My fellow Leonians. (:

& like ohmyfuck.

I cant go to Mondays meet&greet session.

WHY OH WHY.

This is way too evil.

Dont do this to me.

SINGAPORE IDOL LAH SIA.

2006-07-28T20:42:00.000+08:00

Us.

My darling Hilda. (: So uber prettay.

This is how the studio really look like. Its prettay small.

My very own Paul. (: Shes Afa btw. LOL.

& so my aunty has some connections with Hady's mom.

&& thank god for that.

FOOOH.

I got tix ah sia to Spore idols performance.

YAYNESS.

I went ah.

Damn kecohrable ah sia.

All the Hady's makcik2.

HAHAHA.

KANINA.

They dont even let me scream for the other contestants ah sia.

Got this time.

Paul appeared.

And I screamed like mad ah.

He was like fucken hot ah.

Then the makcik sitting in front of me was like "Eh salah orng lah pekik."

Which translates to "Eh wrong person lah u scream".

Then she gave me this glare.

Im like "Eh fuck off ah. Suker ahhh. Chibai"

Walao.

Spoilt my mood only.

But it was fun fun fun.

My face apparently appeared on telly!

LOL.

I was holding the 'H' playcard. (:

H for Hady obviously. *grins*

Paul was uber uber uber oozzing hot lah.

Jon too!

&& OMGZZ. Joakim too lah.

Siakens.

Handsome2 sak semuer.

Rahimah is pretty lah.

Shes damn uber sexaaay.

Shes tall sia. Siakens.

The result show was awesomeee.

Me and Afa went since my aunt couldnt make it.

My sis didnt go too cos she had school.

So it was me and Afa left.

I had 4 tix lah.

Haiz.

We stood at the side of the stage. (:

AHHH.

Up close and personal with Paul and Joakim and Hady and Jon.

O lala.

What more do u want huh?

They were nice lah.

I mean they have to be nice.

If not.

Who'll vote for them.

Part nie jer nice.

Later popular already, all forgot.

Kanina.

K chill uh.

Hahaha.

Eh chibai ah.

I want to go tomorrow leh.

Why must celebrate tomorrow?!?!

Stoopeed jadhakjsd.

Patience pays (:

2006-07-26T14:58:00.000+08:00

Lots of things to update about.

Firstly.

Lets start off with Mardy.

Im not giving up on him.

I love the way he is.

& id change nothing about him.

Even tho some(AFA) might say hes a bit STONE, BAH! and oh-my-god-hes-dumb.

But hes uber cute plus he has a body worth dying for.

&& NYDC's mudpie is awesomeee. (:

I ate Rocky Monster and Afa ate this i-forgot-what-its-called.

Something jerry. Or was it? Lol.

Whatever.

But it was yummylycious.

&&& actually we went to eat there with hopes Afa would actually intro me to her friend Jarrod.

But it ended up like shit. Fuck you afa.

Oh my oh my. Jarrod is sex. (:

Anywaysss.

Im goin to Spore idol later.

Im not like uber excited over it.

Just erm. Happy?

Is that the right word?

I mean like i dont givvafuck if i dont get to go...but if i have a chance ill take it that kinda thing?

Just too bad Afa couldnt tag...shes becoming a responsible teacher. (:

So yeah.

Im still figuring out what to wear.

Its gonna be cold.

&& theres gonna be loads of teens.

Punk i suppose?

Paul's fans. Erghh.

Im on Hady's and Jon's sides maaan.

Ive moved on.

I wonder whats gonna happen.

Do we get to meet the idols or what?

Bahh.

But im so bringing my digi cam along.

Just in case. (:

Monday's field trip to West Coast sucked.

Big time.

Erna tagged along with us.

& she practically ruined my day.

Oh god.

Like can u minah ass get away from me and Afa?

& leave us alone?

SAVE ME FROM HER NIGHTMARES.

Apparently she told us she has 3 bfs and 5 scandals like right now.

HAHAHA. Okay erna. Whatever you say. (:

She gives me chills down my spine. You knoww...

Oh nvm.

& to make things worse, my digi cam's batt died ):

I managed to squeeze 2 peekchures.

Like wadda.

Stoopeed.

If not...id be enjoying myself, thrilled being a paparazzi snapping secret peekchures of Mardy.

Daymmm. =\

& Afa is the new Paula. (:

Yay? K nvm.

I <3 16 yr olds.

2006-07-23T00:41:00.000+08:00

& so i had an outing with the 16 yr olds.

It was fun i must admit. (:

I love em lah.

Funny, adorable and irritating bunch of sluts.

Lovely lovely.

Jyeah...jyeah.

We went town. Then esp. -_- *yawns*

Like what else can we dooo.

The outing itself was kinda last min so jyeah.

I din wanna come initally but they forced me.

Awww...i felt so 'wanted'. && out of pure pity, i decided to goo. (:

Lol.

& Like omgzz.

Faliq sucks.

He had a gf. But he told Syaz he was single.

Wtf. Haiz.

Why are guys like that ah? Why ah why?

I think Mardy is one sincere loyal guy. (:

Ok like why am i talking about Mardy suddenly?!?

Lol.

Forget that. Ignore that.

Ohh. I saw Roxtah at Esp.

He got blonde. & he looked HOT from faaaaaar.

LOOOL.

Dekat2 siak uh.

Elnah was like "Hiii Roxtaaah"

He made this stupid face. Wth~

Whatever.

Me and Fir were like err...why are we here again? Lol.

The whole bunch of them were there lah.

But too bad Yaz wasnt there. ):

If not. CB.

K nvm.

Went to eat at Simpang Bdk just now.

Loads of people.

I ate Kebab & sate. (:

Kenyang nk mampos. :

Sheesh. 1kg up. Joggin time!

K like shut up.

1 week till Im 18.

Who shall i celebrate my bdae with huhuuu? Heh (:

You are the song i know. (:

2006-07-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

IM GOIN FOR OBS.

LIKE FINALLY.

WITH WHO AHHHH.

MARDY SIAAAAAAAAAAAK.

WOOTS.

I LOVELOVELOVE.

I SUPER CANTCANTCANT WAIT.

oh mardy mardy. ((:

today is a lovely day.

dont ask me why.

but i love today.

hmm.

BUT NOT WHEN IT COMES TO ECONS.

cb lah econs.

fucking crap.

cb cb cb.

knn.

I JUST WANNA GET IT DONE AND OVER WITH.

tmr and thats it.

thenthen can look forward to Monday ((:

OH JYEAH.

My aunt got tickets to Spore Idols on Wed!!! ((:

Oh yeaaahhh!

I get to see Hady LIVEEE.

Sounds perfect.

Im soo rooting for him now lah.

Paul and Joakim can go die lah.

Both cant sing for nuts.

& to those who voted for Joakim...no comments.

AND CHEEBS CAN GO AND BURN HERSELF.

EEEE...chibai to the core.

Swing Life Away.

2006-07-19T17:33:00.000+08:00

To be just like her.

Somehow Afa dont think shes the biggest threat.

But i do.

Shes a slut. A whore. A bladie act-cuter at its worst.

Just now during law lect break, she made Jordon buy the strawberry shit-i-forgot-that-fucking-thing's-brand-name.

You knowww...got the biscuit sticks and then theres this strawberry/choc dip!!

Shit lah...fuck..whats the name!?! Ya-ya? Damn it.

Anyways...!

And like yah ah...Jordon was like eating it, playing with her...erghh. -_-

I felt like pulling her big tits and tying it around her neck. Lol.

Oh kay. Forget it.

Whatever is going on lah eh between them.

I know Jordon likes it. && so does she. Blearghh.

&&&Like omgzz.

I talked to Mardy just now!

Oh kay...maybe just a few words...but hey!

((:

I actually had the guts to offer him some of my biscuits lahh.

I dont know where the guts come from...but wowness.

&& that idiot said "err...nevermindd" in his oh-so-mardy tone.

&amp;&& im like okaaaaay.

&&amp;&&then he just stood there and said nothing. I turned away and jyeah.

Cant even see him eye to eye. Gee.

This is soo not getting me anywhere.

I knowww. ):

Oh kay.

I cant wait for next Monday's field trip to West Coast.

Field trips are oh so funn. ((:

Esp when theres Mardyyy. ((((((:

I really dont know why Afa wants me to forget Mardy and go for Jordon instead.

Im like somehow somewhere somewhat I dont really wanna go for Jordon.

Cos cos he deserve a WHITE SEXY CINA GIRL. really really. Lol.

M-A-R-D-Y it is.

But but right. Im so sick and tired already lah.

Its like running in the jungle without a compass.

It'll get you somewhere eventually but you just have no fucking idea when.

Thats the exact situation im facing now with Mardy. ):

Mardy. You are a bladie white stone.

I dont know if you actually notice/know that i like you.

But if you do, please gimme a sign whether or ~~not you like me!~~

HAHAHA. Oh like shut the hell up.

OMG i miss him so.

2006-07-16T17:44:00.000+08:00

& so i just came back from my uncle's sort-of bdae bash.

Lots of my cousins, uncles and aunties came. ((:

There were lots&lots of food.

Sate, lontong, mee...etc...etc...

But i din eat the lontong. I know...pretty saddening.

But wth.

The choc/mousse cake was yummylicious.

& like omgzz.

My pri 5 cousin has shot up to 1.65cm.

& like fuckkit i felt like a dwarf. ): lol

&& she still havent come her dengdeng.

Walao. So unfair.

Something struck me.

I logged onto MSN and he's online.

& so i looked at his nick.

&& its pretty disturbing.

I think hes still in love with his ex huh.

Its okay.

I mean i dont blame him

3 year relationship dude...

&& shes a pretty lass.

So good luck with that.

&&& so i turn to my emo songs to comfort me.

My sis is gone to her friend's bdae bash & im here alone.

I saw this girl wearing a takingbacksunday shirt and like fuckkit i felt like ripping that shirt off her breasts. lol.

Its damn nice.

Nvm. I shall go Penin and buy shirts. ((: Cheap2 ones that is.

Girl din come cos of band concert at Vic Hall.

Fir din come cos got performance at dunno where.

Hilda din come cos of cheerleading comp.

Makes me feel so uncommitted u know...so unactive. lol.

But im lazy so wth. Who cares anyways.

Its not easy to be me. :

I have a feeling that Nigel likes my sister.

& i know my sister is crazy over him.

Its like on friday in sch,

nigel said something like;

"you know ira, you are very pretty, its a pity ur fat"

& on that friday itself, my sis went to gym.

LOL.

&& i just had to tell Nigel about it.

Its only fair that he knows it and take notice that my sister is indeed working hard to lose weight for him. ((:

Aww...so sweet.

I hope my sister will eventually lose some weight and get him

Cos hes freaking hot. ((:

BAHHH!

2006-07-15T23:17:00.000+08:00

If i have to name a girl whos not afraid of being herself and whos brave enough to face all those cunts out there, ill name my sister.

Shes not afraid of revealing who she is to the world without giving a fuck about what others might think of her.

And to me that is the hardest thing for me. To think that she could do it easily makes me feel like a coward.

Like fuckkit.

I feel like a bladie sorry loser.

I dont know why but i just dont feel like socializing now.

Guys scare me for now.

Boring life leads me now.

FOR NOW at least.

15 days to my bdae.

I dont know what to do on my bdae.

I think im gonna sit at home and rot.

see, sorry life.

whatever.

i dont givva fuck.

so what if u have lots of friends?

that doesnt make u any cooler.

im happy with the way i am &im not gonna change.

Just my weight tho. ((:

AHHH. My nose is worse than yest.

Mucous will not disappear. ):

& my throat hurts.

&& my lips are super dry.

&&&i cant taste/smell anything.

That makes eating disgusting. ):

I shouldnt have jogged this morning.

WTFFZZZ.

I was already 1/2 sick and i decided to go jogging like at 4.45am. :

& now it's gotten so much worse.

No thanks to the unpredictable weather these days.

OH YAH.

Singapore Idol Results.

Why was Jonathan Leong at the bottom 4?

All you stupid mofos who din vote for him and instead you voted for Paul Twohill can jump off Mt Merapi for all i care.

Stupid bunch of idiots.

2006-07-14T20:26:00.000+08:00

& im down with flu.
like fuckkit.
my nose has been running since this morning & i feel shit.
my throat is starting to get itchy. ):
damn it.

today is sucha stupid day.
first it was the rain.
ruined my fringe.
then came the absence of mardy. -_-"
like its raining so i think hes prolly sleeping. lol.
like 10 people lah din come for law lecture.
& like surprise surprise justin came. Bravo.
For 2 straight days, i din get to see Mardy.
Wait a min.
Its gonna be 4 days. including the weekends.
& i soo hate Mondays.
Law tut sucks.
Theres gonna be LSM test.
Like major thing hello!
I dont even write notes!
Practically ive slept through all his lessons lah.
Damn. Im bound to die. BUT FUCK YOU IM SO NOT GONNA REPEAT THAT FUCKING MODULE.

*sniff sniff*
I think pisces guys are super gentle and nice.
lol.
like they are so nice you dont even dare to curse in front of them.
ok thats so random. -_-

& suddenly i miss the used's songs.
its been 234390 months since i last heard 'listening'.
& so im blasting them right now. ((:
I miss Quinn. ): lalala.

hawaiian pizzas are loveeee.
i ate marinated chicken + eggs + pizza today.
thats super a lot. :
yes i know.
&& i super super lovelove nicole ritchie.
She so gorgeous. ((: && super super thin.
I dont think shes too thin u know...at least now.

food for thought.
"Why are guys shy? Even if they are hot?"
Stupid bunch of mofos.

&&&& OH DID I MENTION I WATCHED PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN ALREADY???!?!
its super super funnnnnnnnn ((:
fucking worth it lah.
every single cent.
johnny depp was awesome man.
hes super funny and gorgeous. i dig him lots.
& orlando was not badd.
hes a pretty ass.

SCREW SISTERS.

2006-07-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

CHIBAI.

SISTERS CAN GO BURN THEMSELVES WITH MINYAK ZAITON AH SIAL.

fuck sia.

LIKE OMGZZZ.

My fucking lovely sister talked to MARDY.

LIKE HELLO?!?!

ITS MARDY???????

I was soo freaking pissed and embarrassed.

I mean i din know what to do!!

It was bad. I swear.

She ruined my life. Seriously.

It couldnt get any more worse than this.

I mean i wouldnt mind if its some other guy. BUT MARDY??

Fuck lah.

& ill have to meet him tmr.

I mean like i dont even chat with him.

What more in sch?!!!

Shit lah. Im so screwedddd. ):

Now. Mardy Madness is officially overr.

Fuck.

This is fucking sadd.

Chibaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Okay.

Later World Cup Finals.

Italy vs France.

Honestly.

I dont givvafuck who'll lift the trophy.

May the better/fairer team win.

MARDY MADNESS

2006-07-08T21:23:00.000+08:00

& so ive just came back from my holiday.

LOL.

ok maybe not a holiday.

But its close. :))

All hail my NANNY'S CRIB.

The executive apartment is my get away from everything.

Family & school.

Im pampered in most ways.

From food to money. :))

I love her lah.

Talk about yesterday.

She put all sorts of chocolates on the table.

She gave me soya bean milk.

She cooked for me bone steak.

She didnt even ask me for help.

I just lay down on the couch.

& watched MTV. :))

I swear i felt like a princess.

BUT.

I dont take advantage of her alright.

I love her to bits.

Id never talk back to her or you know...be rude. NEVER.

Shes great lah. The best aunt anyone could ever ask for.

& oh yeah.

Went TM just now.

Lots of old friends i met.

Lovely.

Theyve grown up so fasst. LOL.

& everyone complimented on me being thinner.

Thank youuu. HAHAHA. U guys are too nice lahh.

Ok whatever.

&&&&& LIKE OMGZZ AHHH.

Fridayy.

What a wonderful day that was.

Lets officially call it "Mardy Madness".

Cos it was mad.

We've finally came to talking/joking terms with Mardy.

I mean like we like sat on 1 table with him AND CHEEBS.

OK LIKE HOWS THAT?

When we first came, we saw CHEEBS AND MARDY SITTING AT 1 TABLE.

LIKE ONLY THE 2 OF THEM.

My heart sank lah.

Afa was like just gooo just goooo.

& im like FUCK. I DONT WANNA GOOOO!!

It was so shit lah.

But i dont think theres anything goin on between them lah.

At least thats what i thought. Whatever. That slut.

& Mardy was soo funny lah.

Oh god. Hes a killer. HAHAHA.

Oh shut up Afa.

She nearly called him Mardy can??!?!

How can i not screw her? Fuck.

Being a paparazzi can not get any more fun than this. LMAO.

Bringing you down so badly.

2006-07-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

I just wanna bring you down so badly.

In the worst way.

Im mean.

Thats the real me.
A side of me ill never show to anyone.

Yes.

U might know me as this sweet fun-loving girl.

BUT.

Forget it.

Oh wells.

Today went great.

Was 20 mins late for PYM tutorial.

& it was my presentation.

Without even having a chance to sit down, i had to already present.

Haha. But it went pretty well.

Better than i had expected.

Afa did a brilliant with her 'podiums' slides.

& mrs lecturer was like "You ahh should join design course lah...so artistic!"

And we rolled our eyes...i mean like DURHH we belong there. The design world.

Ahh fuck it lah.

We are stucked in the god forsaken course.

Pity me.

*wipes tears*

Oh like shut up.

SBR was funnn. :))

How could you not like SBR?

Mardy Bum. *licks lips*

Hes extra red hot chilli spicy today.

With the blue shirt and jeans.

And his infamous mole.

Teehee.

And like omgzz.

Afa snapped photos of him using my hp cam.

HAHAHA.

That was hillarious.

But it was all worth it. :))

Now i can see him even after school.

Ok stop it sak.

Like eeews.

And omgz lah that CB.

Shes like becoming oh so fab.

Oh so pretty&sexy&goody2.

She was presenting just now.

& i looked at Mardy.

&& i think he was on the verge of drooling lah.

KNN.

She even said "STOP LAUGHING LAH 'MARDY' "!!

OMG. I nearly flipped.

She just had to say that right. right. right.

Nvm. Whatever lah.

I mean i dont blame anyone.

Which human can resist her?

CB.

Fuck off lah.

& im in love with Taking Back Sunday's Make Damn Sure.

Hear it. :))

Ok maybe me. & Afa.

&&& oh yeah.

Sometimes you dont realise it.

But i hope it'll become clear to you.

One fine day.

How much we differ.

In 1 way or another.

Sometimes i dont see things the way u do.

So if i say no, i mean it.

Dont come to me begging.

Fuck you projects.

2006-07-05T02:07:00.000+08:00

OMGZZ LAAHH.
Projects are sluts.
Like cheebye kanina.
Tmr is my due date for PYM.
And i think im gonna screw it.
Fuck lah.
Forever doing things last minute.
I mean i dont mind if im not SLEEPY.
Fuck thing is that im sleepy like a fucking rooster now.
Can barely open my eyes lah.
Cheebye lah.
Still havent finish the fucking project.
Sucks.
Well, for now i know 1/2 of it is done.
I dont know what the fuck is going on with Afa.
I asked her hows shes doin, she din reply my msn.
Like chibai.
Biatch.

Anyways.
I think ive changed my attitude.
Well at least i know im improving.
The amazing thing is that all i wanna do right now is to make my parents proud.
Like i dont really care about "FUN" anymore.
I know im gonna be a loser.
But so what?
Failing doesnt make u any cooler either.

& Elnah just asked me out to Esplanade this Sat.
&& im like nahh. Im staying home to study.
&&& Sunday i already have a date with my sec sch loves. ((:

AND LIKE OMGZZ.
I saw 2 of the most gorgeous guys from TP.
LOL.
I mean they were like my pri sch mates can?
Okay maybe 1. Haha.
ADAM AND ZAKIR.
Can u like jump off some cliff and die?
& im like so glad they still remember meee. ((:
Yay u guys lah.
&& Adam i swear you are hot lah. That mole just keeps adding hot to your hotness. LOL.
&&& Zakir, pls pls pls stop smiling. You might just kill the faint hearted. LMAO.
23 rocks lah. Okay maybe only at 6pm. Teehee.
Why din i ever think of going TP? Gees.
1. Its only like 5 mins away from my house
2. Most of my sec+ pri sch mates are there
3. Theres design sch there? Cheebye.

pala pundek.
eee.
cheebai.

eh mardy, u suck.
but but right, i tink pisces guys are super nice. ((:
TEEHEE.

Setting my priorities straight.

2006-07-02T13:08:00.000+08:00

& so England lost.

Like fuck you, Portugal.

You fucking bloody motherfucking scumbags.

I hope u burn and die.

Especially you Ronaldo. Cuntface.

Hah. Dont forget you're playing for Man Utd.

Im sure you'll be haunted with jeers once you're back to Old Trafford.

In your stupid face.

Enough of that.

&Brazil lost.

Like wow.

I woke up today, ready to wear the Brazil jersey to accompany my mom to the market.

I mean i didnt watch the Bra vs Fra but who would have guessed France would have triumphed?

So just out of curiosity, i surfed to see how Brazil thrashed those French Fries.

AND OH MY FUCKING ASS.

1-0 to FRANCE?!?!

My jaws dropped open man. Seriously.

Like wth happened sia?

Ronaldinho played the full match and Ronaldo? Gees.

Now thats an omg-i-cant-believe-they-won feeling at its best.

I was hoping Brazil to win so they can hopefully thrash those Portugese Scumbags.

): So im counting on the Frenchees. Do me proud. Lol.

Sunday always suck.

Firstly, its a no-goin-out day for me.

Secondly, all my family members are at home.

Thirdly, tmr is school. From 9am all they way to 6pm.

Sigh.

Ive finally come to my sense after a lecture by my mom.

When she told me ive changed, i admit i was a bit shocked.

She confessed her utter disappointment towards me and how ive let her down.

Oh god. Fuck. That was the worst part.

Ive never meant to let her down.

She said i used to be the better child compared to my sister and now...gees.

She counts on me to set a good example for my sister but wth.

&That was just what i needed.

A bloody wake up call.

I swear ive been a fucker ever since poly started.

I din even care about my studies.

I flunked in prolly every module.

Always coming late to school...

I mean my dad worked hard just to get me to school.

My mom gives me money everyday so that i wont get hungry in school.

And what did i do? Fuck lah.

2nd term, first semester, 2nd year.

Im gonna change.

& Fuck you faggots.

No more playing around.

Ive set my goals.

Im gonna do them proud.

Ive wasted my first year.

And this time, im not letting history repeat itself.

Carry on failing if you wanna.

Just dont tag me along.

& Oh i forgot.

No more Mardy Madness.

Its all over.

As quoted by Lee Lee Jong,

"Whatver that is mine, will be mine no matter what."

Mr Fate, Do you thang baby.

Cut the chase.

2006-06-29T23:17:00.000+08:00

Okay.

The wildcard results.

Gayle, Jay, Mathilda and Norman got in.

Erm. Seriously whatever.

*Yawns*

I think this year's batch is pretty dull and boring.

I mean theres a few wannabes, cannot-make-it and k-box standardees.

Gees.

Tell me bout it.

&Paul is soo 20 mins ago already.

If girls are still hu-ha-ing over him...no comments. LOL.

Get over it girls.

You are just adding spice to his bigger-than-an-elephant's dick ego.

I bet now he walks through town with his hair covering his whole freaking face, nose raised up high and a pen prepared in his left pocket. &oh-so-not forgetting his oh-so-lovely faux smile.

Okay enough.

Theres a weird cold serenity in my house today.

When i opened the door, my dad was watching the tv.

My mom was in the kitchen, hanging clothes.

My mom didnt cook.

My dad kept silent.

My mom didnt spoke a word.

Okay. Like whats goin on?

Owells. I know.

Fuck lah.

Lets just hope better things will come our way.

And not some bitches.

&Like omgzz. Mardy.

School sucked the hell up today.

I dont know what im doing anymore.

Why must i ignore him?

Why must i act as if i dont care?

When deep inside im screaming for attention from him?

&I know things are not getting on my side now.

Hes weird.

Im weird.

So yeah.

Thats the end of a wonderful chase.

Crap.

Help lah.

&You know what?

Im gonna change.

Im gonna be a decent pleasant girl who doesnt curse and laugh loudly.

Im gonna do my best in my school work. No more playing with Afa&Lester. =X

Im sorry.

Dissapointment is a word way too familiar to me already.

Things need to change around here.

I seriously need to make things happen.

Make it work.

I dont wanna sit on the sideline waiting for a shooting star to fly across the sky.

One thing.

I need a sign.

A sign that'll motivate and encourage me.

Will you gimme that?

Faris.

U suck.

Big hairy balls.

LOL.

INVITE ME MOTHERFUCKER.

MAKE IT WORK.

2006-06-28T23:54:00.001+08:00

Okay.
Im back.
For good.
Thailand was good. Fun fun fun.
Fuck Singapore.
Its a piece of cows dung compared to Thailand.
Where everything is natural, from boobs to the white soft sand.
WOW.
Its a paradise i swear.
And what i mean by paradise is that everywhere u turn, theres either a hot White male of a hot Thai male. Oh boy oh boy did i drool.

Okay enough of that paradise. I SO WANNA GO BACK ALRIGHT.
GET ME PLANE TICKETS TO THAILAND PLEASE? *grins*
Ill be ur sex slave for the rest of your life.
For fuck's sake emma, shut the fuck up.
Hahaha.

Back to reality.
Work is piling up.
Im getting more frustrated as days go by.
I dont think its ever gonna happen.
Even if it does, its not gonna last. ):
Yes, i know its saddening.
But thats life.
Life has its ups and downs.
Be strong and optimistic and you'll get through it as easy as a sailor who gets laid. :))
I dont know why i talk about sex alot today. LOL.
Prolly cos i met Michael just now.
Hes the sex right now.
But somehow i dont wanna get laid by him. I dont know. You? LOL.
Ok like shut up.

Mardy is a Pisces.
And according to some idiotic geniuses, Pisces and Leo doesnt go well together.
To be more precise, they said its gonna be TURBULENT. LMAO. WTF.
That got me like a sword piercing through my belly button. Sheesh.
Oh well.
I have the feeling Mardy is trying to avoid any sort of contact with me.
You know...cos he know? Omg. Help.
U know what u bloody pisces? STOP BEING A FAGGOT. TALK U SHIT. gayass.
Ergh whatever.
And omgzz.
That cheebye is getting 'wilder' in her dress sense these few days.
I think her ultimate dream is to come to school clad in a bikini. Like seriously.
Well, i dont know when that is gonna be the new trend, but girl dont ever quit.
LOL. Stupid slut.

Okay, ive got SBR to attend to.
Tmr is presentation day.
And i dont think i wanna screw up in front of Mardy.
MAKE IT WORK!

2006-06-28T11:34:00.000+08:00

hckvxbjdshjlotr kds;p bjbfw hpbrtwo pur

2006-06-15T23:44:00.000+08:00

"So i sat in my room for 27 days.

So she never called i had something to say."

omg.

what the hell does that mean?

someone.

please tell me.

tell me it doesnt have anything to do with his gf or whichever girl.

cheebye.

2006-06-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

WOAH.

I DIN EXPECT THE RESULTS OF SPORE IDOLS SIA.

JOAKIM GOT IN? WTFZZ?!?!

Hardy is expectable. hah.

Hes super cute.

Somehow Joakim is err.

I dont know.

Doesnt appeal to me.

Too "clowny".

And i dont think he can sing.

Like seriously.

He has familiar good looks. HAHAHA. Gee emma.

But whatever.

I did not certainly vote for anyone yesterday.

&i cant wait for next week's batch.

The girls seem pretty interesting.

But i dont like that mummy's girl Meryl. eeks.

So the klsjdkalka.

Shh.

Today is pretty fucked up.

Stuff happened.

My dad.

HAHAHAHA.

Seriously sometimes my dad should just act his own age. LOL.

-_____________-

He wore this black&white striped polo tee and jeans.

With his Oakley shades and spiked hair.

Pple can mistake him for my brother dude.

OR MY BF. WTFZZZ. *shoots myself in the throat*

Gees. pops..pops

And Syaz gave me this link to paris hilton's new single.

Osama do us all a favour?

Pls put a bomb in her bedroom or something?

So she can blow herself up? & DIEEEE!!! HAHAHA.

Gee. Am i evil.

She sucks lah.

Faux. Fake. Faux. Fake. Whatever.

Her song sucks, her video sucks and her voice SUCKSSSSSS.

EEEEW. What was her producer thinking?

You should shoot urself mister producer.

Cos that was a sin u did.

And Thailand in 1 freaking dayy.

I dont know about you.

But.

I can already smell the white sand and clear blue seaaa...

HAHAHAHA.

Crap lah emma.

Chalet Sucked Big Balls.

2006-06-13T18:19:00.000+08:00

THE CHALET SUCKED.

BIG FUCKING BALLS.

like omgzz.

why did i even think it was going to be fun?

ok maybe some parts of it was fun.

BUT THE REST SUCKED.

like 65% of it?

35% was basically the fact Mardy was there, the food and prolly the bike-ridings.

The bbq was alright. :))

The food were great and sufficient.

Kebabs, chix wings, hotdogs, crab stick, marshmellow and otak2.

Yuummyyy.

But i dint eat much tho. -___-"

Mamb, Mardy and Stefan did the bbq-ing at first.

And awww, they looked so cute.

Such sweet and nice guys lah they all.

Me and Afa were like staring at each other most of the fucking time.

We were wondering what the hell to do.

I mean Mardy was gone for like half the night.

No thanks to that fucker's idea of going bike riding all the way to Changi Village to eat Nasi Lemak.

LIKE WTFZZZZZ.

And all the guys went.

Me and afa, and some of the C01 gurls were left behind.

It was shit. I swear.

They drank and the whole chalet stank of vodka.

One girl got drunk and cried the whole night. (cos she couldnt see her eyecandy?!?! LOL)

At 4 am, Afa was like beyond ngantokness and she slept.

I couldnt sleep. & i dont know why. Guess i was anxiously waiting for Mardy to come back.

They were gone for 4 hours alright.

At around 5.30, they were back. Sweating and tired.

Haha. Mardy looked gorgeous with his hair pushed back, blushed cheeks and sweaty arms.

Mambang looked nyonya-ish. Ok shh.

We like FINALLY DID SOMETHING TOGETHER.

Okay fine. It was only a card game of bluff.

And that SUCKED BIG TIME.

That focker just had to mention "DOUBLE D" at me in front of Mardy.

OMGZ. I felt like running off sia like some wild cheetah.

& they were like saying some shit bout me and stuffs.

Omg. I swear Mardy laughed lah. WTFZ.

Thats it lah Ema. Ur doomed. Doomed like fuck.

Im gonna come to school with a newspaper covering my face.

& i super cant wait for school to re-open. Like seriously.

Things i planned were left unaccomplished. ): Stupiddumbfuck.

And im gonna accomplish it when the right time comes.

I just hope its not too late.

O god. Help.

Im not going for anymore bbq that concerns any of my classmates or course.

Seriously.

Unless. Okay lets just see.

Im seriously addicted to you.

1 more day to SEDUCE MARDY.

2006-06-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

hello you.

tmr is THE DAY.

SEDUCE-MARDY-AND-CAMWHORE DAY.

i just talked to jordon.

and hes goin baby. =))

hmm.

i still havent packed.

Should i bring tiny shirts and show off my boobs?

Or should i be more insecure and bring the big class shirts?

LMAO. eew. what a slut i am.

Like shut the hell up.

Im trying to figure out whether or not its gonna rain.

Hmm. If its gonna rain, id rather bring some sweater or something.

Okay whatever.

Its just A NIGHT. LOL.

I think theres gonna be some bbq shit.

Hmm. I shall buy marshmallow. =))

And roast it over some fire.

And yummmehhh.

Melting in my mouth.

Hahah. okaay.

And maybe who knows I get to feed Mardy some melting marshmallow...LOL.

Dah lah emma, dlm mimpi ko sua. =X

Like whatthefuck lah.

Afa gave me a bladie scare just noww.

She smsed me during the soccer match:

"Ema ako tkleh gi ah besok. Ko gi jer lah ngan adek ko."

IM LIKE FUCK YOU. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON?

i called her. She din pick up.

I got soo nervous i couldnt even watch the fucking match.

I kept looking at my hp waiting for her sms/call.

LIKE OMGZZZ LAHH.

I mean she knows how much tmr means to me. &how ive been looking forward to tmr like kerazzy.

Gees. At last after an hour, she smsed.

I fucking called her straightaway.

Phew~

She is going afterall. =))

Thank god.

And afa, dont worry too much about everything ur going thru.

At least u have ur daddeh and sis aiight! Peace. (err?)

Visited Si Tempang.

2006-06-09T22:17:00.000+08:00

After a session of pure begging at its best,

parents finally allowed me to stay overnight at ct's chalet on monday.

despite them finding out that i failed some shitty module and bla bla bla.

teehee.

im so freaking excited.

due to some personal reasons. LOL.

okay okay.

like what should i wear?

some sexy nightie? bikini?

LMAO. yeah right.

and Syaz injured herself.

prettay badly i heard.

oh godzz.

like how is she gonna go DXO on mon!?!

shit.

this sucks.

bye bye DXO.

bye bye duabukit.

Alah. Whatever lah.

We still have the chalet. Plus Mardy.

Fucking stay over lah u german retard.

LOL.

if you dont,

im gonna...erm...erm...

NOT RETURN UR PEN AHHH.

okay talking about his pen,

afa, being a natural born fucker,

told Mardy how i adored his fucking pen,

putting it under my pillow every night.

LIKE OMGZZ LAAHHH.

LIKE THANKS ALOT AH EHHH.

i din know how to react sia.

I swear Mardy now knows i have the hots for him lah.

And then, he said "Thats scary."

Oh god.

Now he thinks imma freak. LOL.

haha.

Im so excited.

17th is the day manss.

Thailand here i come!

2.4km in 15mins. :))

2006-06-05T21:54:00.000+08:00

And so it is

Just like you said it would be

Life goes easy on me

Most of the time

And so it is

The shorter story

No love, no glory

No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you

I cant take my mind off you...

-The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice

Alright.

Supposed to meet up with Afa to finish up a long due proj.

But i was too fucking tired/lazy. Haha.

So we are goin to do it tmr.

And tmr is the presentation.

Like wowness.

9.30am. LOL.

And then Econs.

Like damnfuck.

Havent even started revising.

Test tmr at 3pm.

Woot^

Wish me luck bitches.

Tmr is gonna be a hella yawnny day sia.

I went jogging just now.

5am in the morning.

At Tampines Stadium.

2.4km.

In 15 mins.

Pheww. Still can pass.

I dont know why.

I just ran like a mad dog.

Inspired by song The Reason and the Mardy tattoo on my wrist.

You kept me going. :))

Pics from Botanic Gardens.

2006-06-05T03:04:00.000+08:00

OUR LITTLE STUDY TRIP TO BOTANIC GARDENS.

HAHAHA. FUNNY SHIT.

Lester and Wendong doing what they do best.

Aww...cant u feel the love?

Gee. Look back and u get a heart attack!

Fucking shoot in progress.

Pic says it all.

And plus we were thirsty like fuckk.

And lastly me and afa. <3

Break already Mardy!

2006-06-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

I love the tone that's in your laugh

Gasping for an extra breath

Waiting for the time to pass

I believe in days ahead

Don't spend another night alone

Cross and wishing you were dead.

ALAH.

I REALLY REALLY WANT TO ADD HIM ON MSN.

But something tells me not to.
Something like its not time yet.

Cos, trust me, rejection is like a fatal blow to my face.

Add him when we are already comfortable talking to each other in class.

LOL.

Which will not be that longg.

Considering we are now goin to have 2 weeks break.

Fuckkit.

Or. Till its confirmed that he has already broken up with that CINA/MASS COMM girl.

ALAH. Biggg deal.

Seriously ah.

Why must it be a CINA who gets the WHITES?

Why cant it be a MALAI/INDIE?

Something to ponder upon.

Not worth my time but whatever.

I cant wait for the tests to be over.

And concentrate on Proj Mardyy Bumm. :))

Lovely.

Cos im freaking positive its hard to come by another guy like Mardy.

As for that fact, Afa, go ahead and shoot that dart at BULAN NAM.

She doesnt suit Mambang.

And like omgzz lah.

Mambang fucking riccch.

He lives in a condo near Mount Faber.

His room overlooks the sea.

Sheesh.

Like what is better than to look at the sea while having sex?

Hahahaha. Crap. -_-"

So what day is gym again?

More crap.

Like when will we ever go gymmm??

WORK IT OUT BEYOTCCH.

Can u keep up?

Baby boy...

lemme lose my breath...

lalala.

Pics of Paul Twohill.

2006-06-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

I just watched Spore Idol encore.
I could watch it 8237329 times lah.
Hahaha.
Actually right, Pual a bit cacat lah. LMAO.
But who cares. Hes still HOTHOTHEAT. :))
I went to sporeidol.com and signed up some shit.
And i saw some coolsome pics! Yay!

During the early early stage. Teehee.

I knew it lah. Sighh. LOL.

What can i say? <3 his style.

Theatre Auditions. *melts*

Losers and a hottie. Okay maybe 2 hotties. LOL.

Shes fucking gorgeous. I <3 her.

editted by Emma. DUH~

I love my tiny Irah. <33

2006-06-03T15:58:00.000+08:00

Law test was amazing.

First time in 38729 years, im actually satisfied with how i did for a test.

LOL. Shuttup.

I studied for it alrights.

I just hope ill do well and earn that 20%. =))

Next up, Economics.

Screw that.

Im never good at Math.

Like seriously. Shit lah.

I need a tutor for Econs.

None actually volunteered. LOL.

I was thinking of going to the Singapore Idols MeetnGreet later, but suddenly felt lazy.

The hot weather i guess.

Dayymmm Joakim. Haa~

Whatever i can always look at mine.

I feel empty.

Everyone seems to have someone to talk to.

What i mean is someone of the opposite sex.

Someone close. Someone you like.

Someone who would be your boyfriend.

Sighh.

I shall be patient.

And wait for that fateful day to come.

:))

MARDYMARDY

thanks for the pen.

i hope it brings me good luck.

if i get 30+ for my test, im gonna do something about 'this'.

I realised something.

80% of the time i talk about him.

The other 20%, i waited for someone to actually bring him up.

Yes, i know.

Its daymm pathetic. -_-"

I cant help it.

Yesterday, met Irah.

Went for her play at her school.

The fugly Yishun Junior College.

The play was fucking boring.

Thank god for the cute chinese guys.

Kept me awake. :))

Her dad fetched us after that. Pheww~

And irah, your so gorgeous.

And and you'll always be my best friend alrights.

I miss you and your insecurities.
Meet up soon :))

Paul through to Top 12!

2006-06-01T21:32:00.000+08:00

PAUL MADE IT THROUGH TO TOP 12 SUCKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

beat that.

LOL.

Spore Idols cant sing for nuts!

2006-05-31T22:28:00.000+08:00

OKAY.

BASICALLY SINGAPORE IDOLS SUCKED.

BIG BALLS.

seriously dude.

like omgzz they cant sing for nuts.

except for one or two lah.

Got one, like bladie reading they lyrics lah.

Then got another one, fucking out of tune.

So bladie gay lah that Terence. He sounded really disgusting.

I expected him to be better but turned out to be eewzzz.

And my heart was like beating so hard when Paul was about to sing.

Cos i seriously dont want him to screw up.

And voilaaa!!~

Siallah. He made me tear sia.

He sang so brilliantly :)) im so fucking happy. Haha.

He looked hot and he sang hot.

Just greaaaat. Thank god.

Have u voted for him?

I did. My mom did. Altogether i think about 20 times. Lalala~

Haha. But my mom like Jonathan lah.

He was good also. Impressive uh.

And for Dick to say hes gonna make it to TOP5...i was like FUCCCKK.

Then Paul leh? HAHAHA. TOP 2 uh sikit.

OMGOMGOMG.

I really want Paul to go throught to the next round lah.

VOTE FOR HIM GENEROUSLY LAH SON OF BITCHES.

Let the emo boy prevail. Teehee~ All hail beautiful gorgeous hair. WOOT^

School is alright just now.

Fucking hothotheat.

I din know there was a law test today.

So i think i screwed up.

And all hail Mardy.

He helped me.

That cutecuteGerman.

Paul is sexxxXX.

2006-05-30T22:20:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL WAS SHIT TODAY.

reached sch at 7.30.

did voice over like a mad fuckdog.

skali got one guy came.

our classmate uh.

he went to the classroom.

then come out, "eh class cancelled lah"

we've been there for like 30 mins.

waiting for class to start at 8am.

And what the bladie motherfucking fuck. CLASS CANCELLED.

AHHAHAHAH. me and afa=stupid fucks.

Siallah pauline.

least she can do is put an announcement at MEL sia. Knnccb.

Then alone came Olivier.

We then decided to watch DVD at the library.

Watched 2 Weeks Notice.

3/4 of the movie me and Olivier were like snoring away lah.

Damn sleepy like hell lah.

3 hours of sleep for 2 days sia.

No thanks to projects. Chibai.

Then arnd 12pm we decided to go home ah.

Go my house.

Afa stupidfuck, mambang was already otw to school lah to meet Olivier.

HAHAHA. Tsk tsk tsk.

Reach my house, Afa cooked maggi.

I slept. Afa slept.

Watched Seed of Chucky on HBO. HAHAHAH. Dumbmovie. -_-"

Went out again to sch at arnd 3pm.

Bus broke down.

In the middle of PIE. Like wtffzzzz.

Damn funny siak.

Reached class at 4.45pm. Class is from 3-5pm. LOL. :)

Whatever lors.

Then then we planned to go town to see the Spore Idols.

The meet and greet session.

And like omgzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

PAUL TWOHILL DAMN HOT SIAKS.

Siallah. I super love his hair.

Damn raddd.
I simply cant wait for my hair to grow longer.

Straighten it and style it just like him.

WOOTS^ damn fucking nice.

And he wore a black shirt with a red tie. -_-"

How "original".

One thing he lacks lah. Originality.

Sigh. Hope that doesnt get the worse of him.

And he was sweating like a mad dogg ahh.

I mean like hello!! Todays weather was scorching hot like madness and u wore a bladie long sleeved shirt! Padan muker. HAHAHAH.

And omgzz laahhzzz...me and afa got to hug himm.

Forget the sweat. Worth it. Hes uber cute.

And hes singing Here Without You for tmr.

I swore i screamed. Like a bladie groupie. LOL.

THE END.

2006-05-28T22:32:00.000+08:00

Spore idol proves to be different this time.

Im super addicted to the 2nd one apparently.

:)) Full of hotties :))

Teehee.

And they can freaking sing for gods sake.

Impressive.

And the girls are not too bad also.

Some are pretty.

Can make it lar.

I actually like all those who made it through to the top 28.

But too bad Chanelle din make it.

Shes super gorgeous. Ergh i sound like a guy. -_-"

The IS project is doin alright i guess.

SBR no fucking clue.

Law fucking sucks.

Why must i learn law?

Stupeed dumdums.

Woo.

Guess what day is it tmr?

Its MONDAY!!

I love mondays.

Its I-can-see-Mardy-for-4-hrs day! :))

Dont you loveee mondayssssssss.

3 more weeks to Thailand.

Gawwd i cant wait.

Im gonna lose another 5 pounds.

And wear a bikini. :))

I have have have have to look good there.

2006-05-26T23:15:00.000+08:00

Let me be the one to show you.

Im the one who wants to be with you.

Deep inside i hope you feel it too.

Wating on the line of greens and blues.

Just to be the next to be with you.<br>

Ahh.

What a greaat day today.

Marvelllosiatooo. :))

It just cant get any better.

Econs lecture.

30 mins late.

I thought of crawling into the lect room.

But whatthe.

I saw Mardy!

Im like ok shit. stop it ema! Thats fucking embarassing laahh!

And so i walked into the room like some spoilt brat bitch whos fucking late.

I sat at the last row.

My face brightened up like shit mans. Mardy!!

Morning morning Mardy. :))

I couldnt ask for more. I mean to start the fuckedup day with Mardy. Ahhh.

Like fuckshit. I should have come at 9am laahh.

LOL. He thought law starts at 9am. But its at 10am lah. So cute.

Hes always oh so punctual. :))

And so he moved back.

Supposedly he wanted to study law with me.

Cos we were gonna sit for a short test.

He did study. Smarty mardy.

His law book is full of drawings. Stars, scribbles...typical.

Im like "Okay ema. Take full advantage of the situation right now"

And so i acted like a whore.

I giggled, smiled and stared at him.

His eyes. So beautiful.

Its big and brown.

His mole on his lips. Olalala.

And the way he talked. LOOOL.

I can sooo imitate. So adorable.

The way he looks at you.

You know...you have this feeling.

You cant help but to smile.

Cos you dont know how to react.

LOL.

I mean theres something about his eyes lah.

Seriously.

Like they wanna say something to you, but he himself is unsure of what the hell it is.

Okay. Im not making sense.

If you understand, thats superb.

From now on, afa, we are gonna sit behind our heroes. :)) C'mon gurrl.

Time to fight. LOL.

And Jordon.

Oh myyy. Oh myyy.

Hes superly hot today.

New shirt ayee. :)) Love it.

He look utterly yummy in that shirt.

Mardy, u made my day.

Even though it was fucking short.

Lets fade together...lets fade forever.

And Delilah, happy to be friends.

Lets say HI to each other when we do bump into each other.

Arse.

2006-05-25T19:39:00.000+08:00

Should i stop?

Haha.

Mambang has a new stalker apparently.

I knew it lah.

I mean from the first day of sch i already set my eyes on him

But too bad lah eh, he already liked another girl at that point of time.

And so the feeling slowly died.

And next come my taiwanese hearthrob, Delilah. LOL.

That is funny.

Afa was like "What the fuck do u see in him? Per sak hot sngt?"

Gees. He is hot okaay. Small eyes, tall, skinny and oh-so-tanned.

Purrfect.

Ahh. Then he just had to go for that China gurl. I swear she looks like a China gurl. Eeks.

And so i moved on.

TOOOOOOOOO YELLOW STONEEEEEEEE.

Oh gosh. Hes like super attached to a chi gurl.

But somehow i dont wanna give up. Dont ask me why.

Something in him really attracted me.

Like hes so interesting and unique.

In a good way, dammit.

Hahaha. :))

I skipped PLW lecture in the morning.

I just had to stay home and catch the Results Show of American Idol at 8am.

And like omgzzz TAYLOR WONNN!!

I was soo happy.

I think im in love with Taylor.

His voice is so raspy and hes cute alright.

Hes sucha joy to watch.

Unlike the bore whore Kat.

Haha.

And omgomg. We bumped into Yellow Stone otw out from PLW tutorial.

Lucky biatch Afa.

He actually like 'played' with her laaahh.

CID whatevershit. hahaha. Funny tho.

I just couldnt open my mouth to talk lah.

Fuckeraduyweqajhdffuckshit.

He looked at me and i looked at him.

LIKE THATS ALL CAANN?

How pathetic can it get?

Nvm. Tmr got Law lecture.

Still can meet. :))

Cmon EMA. TALK BITCH.

OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND TALK SLUT.

And PAO.

if ur try to seduce him again, im gonna pull your hair and burn your boobs.

AHHAHA. oopsy i made a poopsy.

And Afa.

Go for him.

If you get him,

Ill pierce my nipple.

LOOOL.

2006-05-24T23:29:00.000+08:00

i wish it was that simple.

i wish we would just give up easily.

Some days.

I wish i am free.

Free of school, parents and friends.

But i dont think its ever going to happen.

At least not before i eventually die.

And god, im not asking to die right now.

I wish im granted 3 wishes.

1. To be a millioniare.

2. To have a great and LOYAL husband.

3. To be in pink of health. :)

Today sucked.

I was not in the best of moods.

I had a bad headache cos i think i didnt have enough sleep.

And Afa just had to be a biatch.

I mean c'mon lah.

Gimme a break.

-_______________-"

And oh gosh.

Yellow stone.

And fuck pao.

pao was so pretty just now.

slut. LOL.

I mean i fucking saw yellow stone staring at PAOO!

LIKE OMGZZ.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Eh pls lah. I know pao is gorgeous and all, but pls lah eh.

TAK SESUAI LAH BODOH.

CINA + WHITE = EEEKS. haha.

Shut up. Im not sulking ok.

Fuck pao. Get the fuck lost. Gees emma, chill. :)

Dah lah, i wash my hands off yellow stone. damnit.

American Idol.

Fuck, somehow i dont like Kat.

Dont ask me why.

I really wanna Hicks to win.

He kicks ass. :))

Hes more fun lah than that super snore Kat.

And wtf. Chris belonged to that stage. Fuckkkkit.

I love my parents.

And sisterr.

June can u like come fasterr?

I super cant wait for Thailand.

Smile. Bitch.

2006-05-23T13:22:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAH.
Im in school now.
The Library to be more exact.
Had popculture just now.
And now im having 3 hrs break just for Econs.
Fucktard.
Waste my fucking time.
Then after that got law.
Fucktarderrr.
Bitch.

Whatever.
On a lighter note, I spoke to yellow stone just now.
And omgomg, i found out hes GERMAN.
GET THIS A FUCKING GERMAN.
I completely has no idea for the past yr, that he was German.
I thought he was an Aussie or Canadian or wtv shit.
Little that i know hes a hungry horny dog just like Michael. LOL.
But im sure hes muchh diff than Michael. =))
Hes a good boyy. I think. Haha.
And HAHAHA.
He used to call Afa "The Muslim"!!! HAHAHA.
Cos noone in his class knew what was Afa's name so when they asked "Eh that Emma's friend name ah?" Cos they all knew what my name was. =))
And Yellow Stone will be like "oh The Muslim ah" HAHAHAH. How cute can that gett?

I so cant wait for XMen3 to premiere. Like hurry up already!
I dont really know if im watching this thurs cos school ends at 6pm.
Like wtf. I knoww. Shitass. Fucktards.
Whatever. Im not even sure whether i have $9.50 ready in hand by Thurs.

Im looking around.
Theres a cute Indian guy sitting right opposite me.
Teehee =))
And afa is trying very hide to hide herself behind her laptop to avoid acute eye contact with the enemy(MSS people) currently sitting at the next table. LOL.
Haish. Let the game begins.

I swear im gonna slp in Econs Lecture.
*yawns*
Im so slpy lah.
I wanna go home.
And blast my music.
And go sleep.

2006-05-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

PROJECT YELLOW STONE.

haha.

well.

Its basically a motivation.

Fuck it.

Im gonna do it.

Im gonna win.

Well, thats gonna take a lot of shit.

So many things need to be done.

Lots&lots of projects are beginning to pile.

And fuck it.

Im gonna do well.

Just to make my concience clear while im enjoying in Phuket.

Ahhh.

Mat Salleh galore. =))

Patong Beach?

My own hotel room?

Spa?

Clubbing?

Shopping?

Fuckkkk.

Paradise babe.

Cant wait any longer siaks.

Woohoo.

Okay.

I think ive fallen for him.

But. But. But.

I dont know exactly why.

Hes fucking attached. Happily. Mind you.

I dont really know if its worth it, you know.

I dont want any false hopes or fake smiles.

Cos i know...im...ahh fuck it.

All i know, the sight of him now makes my day. =))

Lets just see what this shit leads to.

Im meeting him again tmr.

Talk bitch, open your mouth and say HI.

Or the least, make eye contact and SMILE.

You are the loser if you dont do this, Ema. Bitch.

Oh Pauline.

Popculture.

Kinda rockin now.

LOL.

=))

Waking up at 6am not thaaat bad after all.

2006-05-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

And so its been a long time since this fucktard has been updated.

Lots of shit had happened.

I swear when i say lots.

Believe me.

All i need right now is some peace and time to change.

Gimme fucking space to think and repent.

i can swear that IM NOT GONNA SKIP CLASS ANYMORE.

unless, i ~~overslept.~~

which sucks. big time.

Im gonna study everyday. *revision dammit*

I dont care anymore.

If it means having no life, that it shall be.

For now; spazoids.

(Stop vibrating already)

F.U.C.K.T.A.R.D.S

And so ive quitted my job.

No regrets.

Ahh. You can so tell im lying through my crooked teeth. bleargh.

Life's unfair.

Fucking unfair.

Some days, you just feel like you're the luckiest&happiest in the world.

BUT then suddenly...everything changed.

In an instant.

Its back to its dull, boring and shitty extreme nature of life.

School and more school.

I mean i dont mind if i were in another poly, just sucks alright.

Everything im doing seems so wrong.

Everyday doesnt pass by so easily without shit happening.

Why?

Ah.

Im now addicted to movies. ((:

And i will always love you cathay.

Ill be back.

Whenever theres sneaks and premieres.LOL.

2006-05-08T09:35:00.000+08:00

LOTS OF SHIT HAPPENED LATELY.

but im gonna put it behind me and fucking move on.

((: smile bitch.

okay.

firstly.

work.

quit or not to quit?

1/4 of me wanna quit and 3/4 of me dont wanna.

sheesh. -______________-"

fuck it.

and and and.

tattoooos!

fucking awesome can.

sheesh.

this is so wrong.

but.

fuck its fun.

michael did his tattoo and i accompanied him.

like omg.

gees.

freiheit. and the trinity symbol.

freaking cool.

totally lovelovelove it.

and the tattoo artist?

heboh geboh jebohh.

i actually did ask him about small symbols and stuffs.

he said the cheapest would be like 30 bucks?

fuck thats cheap. ((:

2006-04-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

HELLO BELLO.

First day of school sucks.

NO new clothes.

And NO new people.

Like fucking the same lah.

Ergh. So UNinteresting.

NO Delilah.

Like where the fuck did all the HOTTYBOTTY chinese guys gone to?

I sat for like fucking 45 mins at the busstop waiting for YOUR HIGHNESS fucker AFA and saw like 2 out of 2934239020 guys thats cute.

LIKE WTF? HAHA. Scary but true. :S

And so i went to The Cathay today.

Skipped Econs lect.

Like all thanks to Afa.

Watched 3 movies back to back.

((:

Take the lead.

Hostel.

Finally.

The Art of Seduction.

Woots.

Jay=Drools all over the seat.

HE IS THE SEX BABEH.

It was wet.

Trust me.

Now now.

Dont you think duurrty on me.

Teeheee. ((:

And im in love.

With the 21 yr old baldie.

((:

~~Break!~~ Break! ~~Break!~~

c'mon people.

i know ur feeling me!

HAHAHA.

It is FASCINATION.

It might be it.

It might not be.

But who cares.

((:

THE END.

2006-04-20T02:28:00.000+08:00

Whatever lah.

Im sooo whatever with all those shit.

I dont like him already.

SO yeah.

Stop saying "I FUCKING LIKE HIM" ALREADY.

Hes an asshole who doesnt give a fuck about people around him.

Thats the fucking problem.

Once i admit i DID like him, it had to remain like that till god knows when.

Wtf. Such thing as "things fucking changed?".

Alright enough of that.

Fatin asked me to MOS just now.

And fuck it.

I just have to be below 18.

Erghh.

Shes goin with Ezzati, Shila, Shahrin and some unknown girls and guys.

Owells.

Lets patiently wait till i fucking turn 18.

Which is soo gonna take forever.

Work was awesome. ((:

Fatin and me and Kiat.

LOL.

Kiat is cute lah.

I gave him the name Brandon.

Cos his chi name sucks. LOL.

And as usual, ushering rocks.

Im gonna miss work sia.

Once sch starts, shit starts.

I hope theres plenty of cute boys in NP.

AHAHAHA. ((:

And Ramli sucks. ):

He just had to be immatured and call me names in front of pple.

Like hello? Do you fucking have feelings for yourself?

You think that was funny?

Hell no. Go fuck your own ass lah.

And fuck, i was not even calling you bitch lah.

I was calling someone else that! FUCKERRRR.

AND MILAN LOST.

Haish.

Sucks.

Why din they let Inzaghi play?

Stupid.

Kaka is still so cute lor. ((:

I cross my fingers and pray ARSEnal lost later.

PLEASEEEEEE. ((:

2006-04-18T02:35:00.000+08:00

I LOST MY FUCKING HANDPHONE.WHAT THE FUCK.I JUST FUCKING BOUGHT THE FUCKING PHONE LIKE A MONTH AGO?I FUCKING HATE YOU MOTHERFUCKER.IF YOU TOOK MY PHONE, YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE STRUCK BY A BIRD'S DROPPING.I DONT CAREEE ARRR.MOTOROLA V3 SOMMORE SIAKS.SIAL.PUKIMAKS.

ergh.

im so fucking pissed.

and i was late for work today.

YET AGAIN.

30 mins siaks.

SHIT.

im so gonna get FIRED.

serves me right.
and and.

customer service rocks today.not a lot of pple.

NO Roger.

NO Saha.

Ahhh...heaven.And and Andrew Patrick= Sex on bed with satin covers.

LOLOL. ((:

Hes so drooly hot lah. Dont blame me ok.

And Glen is so sweet. ((:

He gave me a carnation to make me feel better after i lost my hp.

Meltsss.

Jgn jelessss afaaa.

Basically today sucks.

I called nanny to let her know my phone went missing and thank god she wasnt pissed.Erghh fuck lah.

Why must i lose it?

Why must i bring it along with me??

ALAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. PUKI LAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Ok nvm. Everything that happens has a meaning to it.

So, I cant do nothing.
And tomorrow is my fucking OFF day.

What the fuck should i do?

And sch re-opens next week.

HAHA.I SO cant wait. ((:

Especially when Shermund is in the same sch as me.

WOOOTAAAH.

2006-04-13T02:11:00.000+08:00

O god.

Finally.

Some sense has come into my head.

Ive made up with her.

And its all for good.

We both had tears in our eyes.

Ergh, we realised something really undeniable.

We cant live without each other.

NOTHING can fucking come in our way.

Not even a fucking CUTE german guy.

Fuck him

He's not even worth it.

Fucker flirt.

Anyways.

Did customer service today.

It wasnt thaaat badd.

And wdf. I lost my clipboard! LOOOL.

FUNNY SHIT.

WHO FUCKING TOOK MY SURVEYS SIAAAAAAAL.

PUKIMAKS.

-____________________-"

Oh then

After work.

I watched "Take The Lead" with Chitchit. ((:

AHHH.

FUCKING AWESOME MOVIE.

Antonio Banderas is soo oo oo o o HOT.

D-I-L-F.

LOL.

dads id love to fuck.

ok enuff said.

teeeheeeee ((:

AND AND.

everyone now knows i can run!!

I fucking sprinted for the bus.

and im proud.

AHHAHAHA.

IN UR FACE RAMLI.

BEYOTTTCHHHH.

2006-04-11T15:46:00.000+08:00

Ok. Just got back home from East Point.

Bought some shirts and boots from that shop lah.

Whatever the name is.

Luckily mum got good new from the doc.

That growth thing is NOT cancerous.

Phewww~

And shes practically in love with the CUTE LIL DOC.

HAHAHAAA. Righhht.

Anyways. I think she's ignoring me.

I dont really know why.

But im scared its cos of that chalet thing.

Sheeshhhh. Godd. -_-"

Ok. Nvm.

I talked to my sis's cute chi friend yest.

He gave me some greaaat advices.

I mean for a 16 yr old boy, thats some fucking good thinking there.

I felt quite good actually after listening to

what he's got to say bout my situation.

I think im just going to leave everything to fate.

Gonna stop acting like a S-L-U-T.

one of the pics from the chalet.
haaahhhhh. i look fugly thanks to the fucking shower.
fringe goneeeeeeeee. HAHAHA. and the sweats and ewwwwwww. grossss.

michael and me in the taxi otw home. <3LOLOL (i editted my fringe. it looks so fake but who cares! LOL)

2006-04-10T11:19:00.000+08:00

like omgzz.

yest was fun.fun.fun.

had our chalet.

actually i was thnking of not going.

BUT.

changed my mind at the last min.

cos francis and "rabbi" begged me to go.

so i decided to go.

took a cab with michael, ramli and this cine gurl to east coast.

reached at about 11.30pm.

lots of people were there.

haha.

first time reach, im like "okkk..where am i again?"

cos most of the people that i know were not there yet.

so me and michael were like "okay we hafta stick with each other mannnn!"

LOLOL. i dont mind that a single bit. HAH.

i saw George and im like "Righhhht. Why must he be here? Can u like go away and follow ur dad to South Africa or someting please." LOL. his gf is like so errr. Lucky beyotchhh. LOL

So. Instantly i spotted Aik Nen and then we went for a walk along the beach.

That was good. Cos he's really nice to talk to cos hes kinda experiencing the same thing as i am NOW. So yeah.

Thennn, familiar faces started to pop out. Francis and Ebby and LINI!!! <33

Ahh god that felt good.

We makan makan makan then watched Andrew Patrick and Glenn sweat as they played soccer.

God that was hot. LOL. =) i loike. Oh shut uppp. Heh.

And so, Francis and Ebby were hitting it off. Like finally. Hah. Cute lah they two.

Haish. I used to have a crush on Francis. But but...no more redi lor. :))

Im happy for them. Suitable laahhh.

The bbq was finee. Nice food, nice people and boyyy was it fucking hot. I was perspiring like shittt.

Im like SHITT MY FRINGEEEEEEE. GONEEEEEEE SIAKSSSSSS.

HAHAHA.

And the hungry Michael and Ramli were like eating in sweats. Kesiannn.

I ate like hotdog only. ONE HOTDOG mind you.

Thats the fucking thing with me.

I cant eat at bbqs.

Dont ask me why.

I think im kinda shy eating in front of people.

Or is it because i rather do something else then eat? Ok nvm.

Oh not forgetting.

Michael me and Lini went for a longgg walk together-gether.

Talking about relationships and SEX.

HAHAHAHA.

Their first times and all. Siallah. Powerrrr.

Fucking around sounds FUNNNN. LOOOL. :))

And Michael is a hungry horny dogg. Gees.

I love Lini. Shes sooo wow. Ok shut upp.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE taxi rides homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Oh my oh my. :))

Esp with ehem ehem in it with me.

*melts and drools and shit and poo and pee* (??)

3 days in a row babyyyyyyy.

Some pics to ponder on. woot woot.

(uploading) heh.

2006-04-09T01:57:00.000+08:00

I thought you were not my kind.

I thought i could never feel for you.

But.

Things are getting worse each day.

Why? Why?

Im asking myself every fucking second.

This is so wrong.

But im sorry.

I cant help it.

It is that badd.

Very badd.

Fuck you.

And fuck you too.

A FUCKING BIG STRIKE OFF HIS NAME.

its never gonna happen.

just like the others.

ergh.

stop looking for it, emma.

let it find you.

Stupid beyotch.

And my concience is telling me.

"This is fate.

Sometimes it comes your way and sometimes it doesnt.

Live with it.

Thats life.

And now, its not in your favour.

But maybe there's more for you in the future.

Treat this as a blessing in disguise."

Oh god...

This is harder than i thought.

I feel shit.

I swear.

My life is worthless.

At least for now.

Fuck it.

What the fuck am i supposed to do?

Please TELL me.

2006-04-03T03:51:00.000+08:00

i have no idea what the fuck am i feeling right now.

im living in a world full of deceits and lies.

i know you like him.

and i know you like her.

but somehow.

deep inside.

i feel insecure.

im scared.

i know its fucking selfish.

oh god.

what the fuck did i get myself into.

alright.

lets see where fate takes them.

if they are meant to be.

then let it be.

ill just smile.

and be happy.

cos they are the most wonderful people ive ever known. (:

and i fucking hate ZAKI.

can he please jump down?

or get killed or something?

stop ruling me around fuckass.

or ill shove the fucking torchlight into ur ass.

2006-04-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

okay.

take a deep breath.

its getting weirder lah.

like why the fuck i like him sia.

its just sooo weird.

even afa coudnt believe it herself.

ok ~~enough~~ about him.

yest, justin came with his girl to watch movie.

and yes, i let them sneak in.

got free hotdogs somemore.

chinabeh. LOL. so cute lah he.

imma sick individual. LOL.

i think guys think im too open.

i mean c'mon lah.

put me and afa together, OMGZZ.

bear with us, thank you. (:

we love to joke about stuffs that comes out of our boobs, vaginas, fucking and god knows.

LOL!

sick aye?

sorry lor. thats us.

and fuckfuckfuck.

i got tons of mosquito bites cos we sat at starbucks ps for hours.

i seriously think its fucking disgusting lah.

im never goin back to that cursed starbucks outlet ever!!

wth lah.

i got fucked by a customer sia yest.

picturehouse can go die lah.

fuck it sia.

box office pple can go jump down also.

because of them, we the ushers get fucked by the unsatisfied customers.

pfft.

and inside man is fantabulous.

go watch pple.